Cultivating Love for Life Long Learning

It's been a while since I talked about our learning journey so this is gonna be a good one!

A LOT of really great stuff has been happening for us this year in the learning realm!

 

I'm going to list our favorite resources. (And just to be clear, I'm not being paid to do it.) Most of these resources we have uses through strewing... which basically means, we fill our home with learning resources knowing that our children will discover them... occasionally leaving stuff in places we know it will be "discovered". No force, no coercion, just natural inborn curiosity. I'm going to intersperse these with some of the amazing things I've been privileged to witness and learn from my learners.

One of the most common concerns I hear from people is concerns about how our children will learn to read. Granted, we expect them to learn in their own time, which can feel a little nerve wracking and insecure at times, BUT they have learned. Our daughter, whom I have talked about at length in other posts is now an avid reader despite many learning challenges.
Our son simply hasn't been interested until this year, nonetheless, he is reading all on his own. We read with him and to him every night, these are some of the best books and series we've found. Most of these we found at our library. We started doing a once per week trip this year and it has been just amazing. One of my favorite things.

We had this series on our book shelf. It's a hand-me-down from my childhood. We began reading it together, and it lost my sons attention so we moved onto the tv series. An amazing amount of learning stemmed from this series, carrying on through the whole year... We refer to it as "the year of Little House" as it was a near-obsession.My oldest is re-reading this series again, it's so loved.

 Okay, honestly, I have not read these. My husband has been reading them with our son, and our daughter has whipped through them too. Anything that gets him "hooked" I figure has to be good!

 Again, I love a series that has a movie too. Watching the movie got my daughter started on these. My daughter has been eating them up.

 Math is just not my thing, or my husbands. Sometimes I worry my kids will be super deficient in math. LIFE OF FRED teaches math in story form and with humor. Really cool.

We've also been loving online learning sites- Brainpop, IXL and Dreambox.

GAMES for math are awesome too. Ticket to Ride, Cards, Crokinole, Settlers of Catan, Carcassone.... Seriously, the list could go on and on.

 This may seem a weird shot to include, but following natural learning ideas we haven't pushed our kids to learn to read- trusting that they will in their own time and way. That's where Strewing comes in...
We have ALWAYS had a basket of magazines, books, and comic in our bathroom. I would venture to say most of their reading skills have come from bathroom time!

 I seriously cannot say enough about this series-
ORIGAMI YODA. So Awesome! Star Wars meets origami, meets middle school. Funny and super entertaining!

Spaceheads aka- SPHDZ also had our full attention.

 Oak discovered this one on our very packed bookshelf. It's an old classic reader, and it's an awesome find. Bonus is because he "found" it he was enthusiastic about reading it together and the words were at just his level!

BOY AND A BEAR IN A BOAT~ Okay, I know that sounds super strange but it was, imo, very in harmony with Waldorf style stories. Oak says it was "Peaceful, Adventurous, and a little bit stupid cause there wasn't a proper ending." It was one of those open ending, which I think is kinda cool cause it leaves it open for creativity and exploration.

<<< This one is a treasure. I would actually give it as a gift to new parents. Full of Waldorf stories from around the world, teaches morals and humanities :D and the art work is beautiful!

Of course, building toys, marbles, and letter tiles!

 

Chalk boards and white boards are scattered throughout our house, messages from BE THE CHANGE cards are written on them. These cards are a GEM! SO SO Cool!

 A ready supply of tactile and crafty supplies: clay, beading, paints, pastels, yarn, scissors, paper, glue,and sewing stuff.

Aaron's Thinking Putty is really neat stuff. This one changes color with a little light pointer, other ones are magnetic or change with heat.            >>>>>>>>>>>>

Exercise has been a HUGE component for us this year. Weekly swimming and skating, scootering to the park and playing ball with the neighborhood kids. I have read about the importance of physical exercise in learning but never witnessed it's influence on growth until this year. Definitely worth making a priority.

This year we discovered Geocaching. Seriously, if you haven't heard of it- google it. Download the App. It's worth it. Exercise, time in nature, and discovery.

Grandpa gifted Oak a microscope which has opened the door to very new learning. Thanks Grandpa!

Our daughter Liv, has been a part of organizing a few community activities too. She's directing a (rather large) group of home learners in producing their own bible Drama. Regularly rehearsing and planning costumes. We've also connected with a great group of Belly Dancing women. These to group activities are free, all it took was connecting with a group of like minded people!

I will add to that instruments. For Liv, playing the violin is something she was able to be successful at even when she was struggling with her learning challenges. So maybe for your learner it isn't a musical instrument that gets them going, but whatever it is that they have success with- I say- Go with it!

This is ZUKO. This little guy has provided tons of science learning. Now I'm not saying run out and buy a pet for science... but caring for him, our fish and our dog have been pretty great learning opportunities!

I'm gonna go out on a limb and talk about screens for just a sec. I know this is a controversial one... Waldorf is all strict and very limiting on it, and on the other end you have the radical unschoolers who are like "no limits ever- learning is learning." I'm setting philosophy aside and just going to say what has worked for us and why. This year we imposed limits, as much as I cringe a little as I say that. The limits are as follows, screen time after 3pm, and free-for-all on weekends- unless it's a learning website. Again, I cringe because we have modeled these limits based on school hours. Here's why it works, before we set these limits, only screen-oriented learning was happening, now various kinds of learning is- and lots of it! It's been a simple and effective limit. Totally worth working through my initial "cringe".

The other thing that's been new is I've returned to school! The kids are getting a look at what a more traditional course looks like, and they are digging into my textbooks with me. It's been really cool. so that's my last thought: model Love of Learning, it's contagious!

Unschooling / Natural Learning ~ For The Win! (Even With Dyslexia)

Not so long ago, only 3 short years, I was writing in this space about my daughter's learning disabilities. She was in the process of having her learning assessed.

To catch you up, the results showed, she has dyslexia (reading), dysgraphia (writing), and a math disability that I can never remember the official name for. Having her assessment done was a huge decision, again, one which I wrote about at great length. I'm writing today because I believe it's important to continue to tell our story. Choosing the learning path of unschooling/natural learning can make one feel lonely and misunderstood at times; and certainly having a learning disability or raising a child with one (or a few) can also feel isolating at times. It is with my daughter's permission that I continue to share our story.

Three years ago, when she was diagnosed, the focus of conversation was often on "interventions"... What program, tutor or therapy would address her deficits? At the time, I felt very frustrated at our lack of available resources. We live in a small town, and many of the things suggested simply were not available where we live. 

I felt insecure and afraid sometimes that my daughter may not get the help that the experts felt was essential. 

So what happened next?

She spent one year working at a small farm, and creating art in a local pottery studio.
How did this address her needs? These are not exactly recommended "interventions". 

A professional could probably break it down; but an educator, I am not. I am simply a mom; so I can only speak to what I saw, and what my daughter has been gracious enough to share with me as I'm writing.

After her initial diagnosis, I saw relief. I saw relief at having a name for a problem she knew was there; but had not been validated. Before her assessment, she carried frustration and anxiety. She knew she was different. No matter how hard she worked to be like her peers, she couldn't be. They knew it, and she, unfortunately felt it. I witnessed her negative emotions turning inward, against herself; I think that was the most concerning. She is bright and gifted, but all she could see were her short comings. It is for this reason that when parents ask me about assessments; I, in turn ask about the child's emotions. How does the child feel about them self? Are they noticing and feeling the differences? Are their peers noticing? Is it affecting their relationships with others and with them self?... But I digress.

Having a name for her difference meant when she felt it, she could say "oh, that's my dyslexia". When friends or family noticed her struggle she could explain, "it's because I have dyslexia."
A diagnosis relieved her of feeling that it was because she didn't work hard enough, or feeling that she must be stupid. No, she has a brain that works like people who are given a dyslexic brain. No shame needed.

I asked my girl what about working at the farm helped her. She says having a routine helped her to improve her sequencing. Talking to the animals helped her by helping her to feel understood. Building a relationship with the horse, and being able to communicate through the bridle helped. She says that when riding the horse, her and the horse would share their anxiety. Not exactly a traditional dyslexia intervention. 
With the lack of resources, we continued to approach her learning the way we always had: with the belief that she is built to learn; she is endowed with the wisdom to know what she needs. Her work on the farm inspired her to want to make a movie on the farm. She tacked writing a script with passion, and confidence; and while her spelling, punctuation and penmanship were impressively behind her peers, it didn't matter - to her or to us.



At the pottery studio too, she got to experience success. She has always been gifted visually. Here she got to create and develop her talent in this area. Again, she was inspired to make things that incorporated script. Her "output" as it would be called by the Powers That Be, would have been extremely low if we consider that what was recommended was intensive 2-5 day per week of official interventions.

My daughter's healing was first, emotional. Her confidence and self-esteem had taken a big hit. This time was for her to feel success. For her to own her diagnosis; and to feel our confidence in her.

The following year, we did find a tutor. She wasn't in our town, and traveling to visit her proved to be costly and sometimes due to weather, just plain impossible. Again, what was recommended, was at least twice per week. It just wasn't realistic for us. So we tried once a week; which eventually turned into only twice per month. Overall, she did not have very many visits. My daughter would work with her tutor for a total of 3 hours each visit; one of which was spent riding her horse! To begin with, my daughter admits she wasn't thrilled at the idea of working with the tutor. She says she agreed to it by accident; that I asked her about it while she was distracted. She says she imagined that working with a tutor would be like spending time with someone who wanted to change her. Seriously, just take a moment and digest that.


Once she started working with her though, she found that she really liked her. She was a really nice lady with whom she connected. And of course, riding never hurt her motivation!

The next year, she had no "interventions" at all. Wait. That's not entirely true. The school we work with, generously set her up with a program for kids with dyslexia, for me to work through with her. It was a FAIL. Frustration reared it's ugly head once again. Her confidence and our relationship was taking a hit. If I had continued to act out of fear, I would have pushed it longer than I had. Thankfully, we acted in favor of love and peace instead.
She spent the year devouring every book she could get her hands on: she has read the whole Little House series, Little Women, The Bread Winner Series, the first 4 books of the Lemony Snicket Series, the old Peter Pan, 3 of the Mysterious Bennedict Society, BFG, and both of the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory books, James and Giant Peach, The Hobbit.... the list goes on and on...
She also joined a belly dance group, and choreographed a dance for our group, and continued learning violin.

If I've learned one thing the most, it's that when it comes to learning; Emotion is Everything!! It is at the root of our motivation and success. Positive feelings, inquiry and passion create learning. Period. So "intervene" with activities that create these emotions and learning success will follow.

 

 

Last year, despite being granted an exemption, my girl chose to participate in the standardized testing.With the help of a scribe, she scored in the average range! Go figure that.


This year marked the fourth year since her first assessment. The Powers That Be felt she was due for an updated assessment. She jumped at the offer. Unfortunately, she misunderstood what this was all about. With all the obvious progress she had made she thought it was possible that the examiner would tell her she no longer had dyslexia! So when the results came in showing all of her vast improvements, all she heard was that she still had this difference. She was incredibly disappointed; but with some time and reassurance she has gained a better understanding.

I'm the most excited to share with you what I believe is the most amazing thing about the results. This is the main reason for this post...

As I looked down the list of official recommendations, it may as well have been a list of activities she was already engaged in. Creative writing and drama- she has organized a group of our local home learners to prepare a drama. She has written a script, and is actively directing the rehearsals. She has discovered online creative writing forums where she has been posting a story she has been working on. Continuing to learn violin, to improve her decoding and fine motor skills. Non-competitive sports, where a motion is repeated, such as belly dance. Obviously, there were other very simple recommendations for us. Things like giving her a quiet space to work in.

We are so grateful to have found a fantastic tutor to work with her this year. She has approached our girl with a curious, respectful, and co-operative spirit. When she asked our girl what her learning goals were she said spelling, punctuation, printing and math. All the things, unbeknownst to us that would appear as the exact areas needing improvement. She has proven to me again and again, that she is so connected to her intuition. Together they have been working towards these goals, not with a program as their guide, but positivity, inquiry, and passion.

So, what's my point?

~Do what works for your learner: approach their learning journey with curiosity and respect; with value on their emotions as the ultimate guide. Negative ones to indicate something is not right and positive to say "Keep going! Life is good!"
~Don't fear the assessment. And certainly, if your child is showing signs of suffering emotionally, get it done! Find out what exactly is going on for them; and some clues as to what may help! If nothing else, a diagnosis can validate for them what's happening in their world.
~Lastly, most importantly, and most difficultly: trust your learner. Trust them to know what they need and how they need it. Because if we allow them the honor and space to be tapped into who they are, they really do know.

No Statistics Needed

I haven't written of our learning journey in a while. I am inspired to do so today though because of something I heard; an "alarming" statistic. Ready?

If a student is not reading at their grade level by the end of grade three, they have only a 25% chance of graduating. 

Are you not alarmed??!

I'm not.

I'll admit I felt a little surprised at first. Maybe even a little offended. Why you ask? Because this statistic is talking about MY children! After I digested it for a few seconds though; I realized that as unschoolers this study has nothing to do with my children or our values- it's rather arbitrary. I found myself asking a lot more questions.... Who did this study? What was their motivation? Was this stat designed to scare me, as a parent? Or to put pressure on schools and teachers? How does it apply to children with dyslexia, like my girl? And how does it apply to natural learners like us? And... does it matter?

It's funny, as a natural learning, unschooling family we trust the learning process to unfold as a part of our human nature, but occasionally we will read something or hear something about learning, or school or success that gets us thinking and talking. This statistic was one of those things.

Here's why this study doesn't scare me:

I know my kids best. I trust them to be the brilliant, learning creatures they were designed to be. Period. That means that if they learn something later than their peers, it's irrelevant. Conversely, they learn a lot of things before their peers, or even some things most people may never learn. Also irrelevant. Comparison, in my experience is fear driven, and only leads to negativity- even if one comes out ahead, negativity is often the result. Better to breathe and enjoy the ride.  Appreciate individuality. 

Fear is not a good motivation to learn anything. Joy and positivity nourishes learning! Not to mention, feels so much better- why not choose that?!

Next, this study is assuming we all believe that graduation equals success. Guess what? I don't buy it. Graduation does not necessarily equal success; it does not equal happiness. Graduation does not guarantee good communication skills, good relationships with people, good work ethic. Graduation definitely does not equal self-knowledge,(by far one of the most important things to develop, imo) or having a direction in life. It doesn't even mean having the basic skills one would equate with having graduated- reading, writing, spelling, and math. (Thankful for spell check, this high school grad's spelling is atrocious!!)

This study is designed to appeal to the group of people who value graduation as the standard goal for our youth. I am not one of those people. My goals for my learners are a little broader. My belief about success is a little different; success is knowing yourself, being confident- your strengths and weaknesses, your goals and dreams, your beliefs and values. Success is knowing how to be happy in life; how to have good relationships; how to breathe and enjoy the ride.

If my Learners graduate, it will be because they valued graduation as being an important part of their success. Certainly, it is valued by our culture as a starting point, and could serve some purposes. However, if they do not graduate, it will not be because they were "late readers", it will not be because we are poor financially (which evidently is also considered a risk factor), and it will not be because they have learning "disabilities". It will be because they have another way to measure their success; it will be because they know who they are and what they want. It will not be something that happens out of default; or fear driven by comparison to peers. As natural learners, their success will come from learning to work with their nature. Living joyously and true to themselves.

I have faith in our brilliant design. It brings to mind the words of John Holt:

"Fish swim, birds fly; man thinks and learns. Therefore, we do not need to ‘motivate’ children into learning, by wheedling, bribing, or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can into the school and the classroom; give children as much help and guidance as they need and ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest."

Just as I trust a fish to know how to swim, and a bird to fly, I trust my children to think and learn. I trust their designer to have given them gifts and abilities that will serve them well. No statistics needed. I can trust them to do the rest.

xo

Simply Learning

I HAD written a very long, wordy post... I erased it in favor of LESS. We are Simplifying our life style; and finding that LESS is, indeed more. Less stuff. Less mess. Less crazy running around due to a less crazy schedule. And finally Less words...




Above is my son's room, mid-simplifying-sort; as I ditched Anything: broken, age inappropriate, or limiting to the imagination. Check out how many books are on that book shelf!

Boxes and boxes went to the second hand store, 2 big garbage bags went to the trash. Two more boxes of things I thought he might notice were missing, went into storage.

 

What you see above, is a tub of dress-ups, and a basket of marbles and marble run supplies. Baskets covered with a cloth.



His shelf holds a basket of musical instruments, a basket of cars, and a handful of his favorite books. 

The closet holds a tub of lego and pirate ship set. 

                                     ***Neat, AND easy to keep it that way.***

 This whole Simplifying thing is Waldorf inspired. 
I am amazed and grateful for coming across these resources at exactly the right time for us.

My Daughter got a Simplified version of her room that allowed her to focus on what she loves. Surrounded by dance costumes, her photography, her violin and books...

.........And her new Fish.

 
For years we have been riding the swinging pendulum of Radical Un-schooling; and the pendulum was always, ALWAYS swinging. I was beginning to feel kinda dizzy! 

It was beginning to feel like Someone's needs were always being left unmet; and often my husband and I felt absolutely exhausted.

Perhaps  Probably, as a reflection of our dizziness and exhaustion, our Littles were so dis-content.

There's no other word for it. I took this as a sign we needed a change.

 ~

One of the greatest discoveries about LESS is that it has opened up MORE space for LEARNING!

Letting go of the "box" of the Unschooling label, has opened me up to using some Waldorf curriculum; which by the way, is SO BEAUTIFUL! 
          It is so honoring of Childhood,
                                                                    Curiosity,
                                                                                       Nature and Imagination!

It is astonishing to me to witness my children SO engaged in their learning! Every game, every story, every movement, every art project! (*Still very child-led*)

Above he is learning about pulley systems...



I remember last year, when my son's sole passion was video games, and his mood was miserable. The kind of miserable that comes from not feeling satisfied, valuable, or successful. He would lament that he had no gifts, and that he wasn't good at anything. It broke my heart, as I scrambled around, in vain, trying to find various "things" for him to try. 

*This year he is THRIVING!* Actually, we all are :)*


The things 
I felt so resistant to; routine, curriculum, sharing the daily responsibilities, limiting screen usage; were ALL things that have benefited our family more than I could have imagined!

Simplifying has felt like a Fresh Start.

So it would seem Simplifying has OPENED the space for me to learn some great lessons too!


*Google Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne if your curious to know more.

Slow Roasted Teenagers ~ Yummy ~

** Okay, here's my preface: if you think you're going to feel judged or offended, stop reading now. If you're going to have an open mind, please carry on :)***

I have terrible news: Our children are being slow roasted.

There's an old adage about cooking frogs. If the frogs are dumped into boiling water, they will jump out. However, if they are put in the pot with the cool water and slowly brought up to a boil, the frog won't notice. It doesn't struggle, or jump out. It's cooked.
This is what is happening to our children. And the scary part is, we are allowing it. Defending it. Even supporting it.

We recently had a teen suicide due to "cyber-bullying". As I watched her youtube video, I couldn't help but think this young girl is was no different from so many young girls. She made the kinds of "mistakes" that are common to the teen years. Flashing, fooling around with boys; some poor choices perhaps... But nothing uncommon to growing up.... and LEARNING about life. She was also victimized and taken advantage of by boys. Again, sadly, not uncommon at all. What's new, is that thanks to the internet, thanks to social media, and thanks to cameras on every cell phone, and a cell phone with every teen, her "mistakes" were immortalized online, for all to see. For all to mock, and ostracize. Her "mistakes" were on display to follow her from school to school. And somehow, the children in every school felt entitled, maybe even justified to bully her. As a whole they felt okay about participating in tearing her down.... to the point of finally beating her with a crowd of support. Eventually, leading to her suicide. And sadly, her experience, is not uncommon at all.

It's shameful. I feel heartbroken for her family. And I feel haunted by questions... Where are the parents? Any of the parents? Are people to busy to monitor the online safety and activities of their children? Why were they not acting like people who had learned morals? Empathy? Kindness?
I'm sure a lot of things factor into this... but basically, I believe they've been cooked. And that's not justification. It doesn't make it okay. It makes me wonder, what is wrong with families? Why are we allowing this?!

Talking this story over with people, something interesting happened. Stories of bullying came forward from each person. Bullying from both teachers, and fellow students. Bullying stories that took place 40 some years ago, right up until now. Let's start with the stories of teachers bullying. (Please Understand, this is not meant as an offense to all teachers, surely there are many, many wonderful, positive teachers who keep children save and have a beneficial effect on their students.) The stories I heard were all from elementary school; they included teachers pushing children down stairs; strangling a child against a wall in front of a class; shoving a child to the ground in front of a class; not allowing a child to use the washroom, and having him wet himself in front of the class; and locking a child alone in a classroom for 2 hour detention after school closed up. These stories are multi-generational, and from varying towns and cities. The children in these stories experienced Fear, Hurt, Embarrassment, Shame, Humiliation, and HUGE Injustice and Violation of trust at the hands of people entrusted to care for them. In all of these stories, no significant consequences came to the teachers; and yet the one's telling the stories, tell them like they were yesterday; flushed faces, and shaking voices.

Do you think these kinds of experiences might have an influence on our children's development of empathy? or Kindness? I do. I think it teaches them it's okay to treat people badly. And what's more?.... the parents were told about these situations. The parents rightly complained, and nothing came of it. So what do our kids learn?? What are WE teaching them? We're the teaching them that if you are big, or in power, this kind of behavior is okay. If you're at school, this behavior is okay. If you get caught, even as an adult, you won't be held accountable in any major way. If you are a child, you are power-less. And if you are a parent, you are also power-less to help. The School has the power, the System has the power. And right from elementary school on, the lesson is bullying is okay. Of course we would never say that, however it's true.... although, terribly inconvenient.

In fact, in some schools it is true right from day 1 of Kindergarten. One mom recently told me of her schools new policy that on the first day of school, parents were not allowed to enter the school. Period. She said children were crying, parents were crying; and they were told, "No. No parents in the school. We'll take care of them. This will encourage their independence." And parents accepted that. Oh, I'm sure some protested, or maybe felt inwardly worried; but this mom reported that overall, parents just allowed the school to have that much say! Again, what is the message?! What is the lesson?!
The message is "We, the school, are big and powerful, and even your parents can't help you or even access you here." Intimidating at the very least. And what does this teach (a 5 year old) about empathy? About the importance of feelings, and caring for another's experience? Or the connection of parents to their little ones? The importance of family?.... all secondary to the prerogative of the school.

Yes, into the cooking pot they go.

For 12-13 years, we as parents support our children participating in this system. Slowly roasting. And let's face it. We're busy. We trust that the learning happening in Our school is good, at least mostly good. The problems of drugs, alcohol, sex, bullying, and so on "don't happen at our school"; "it's a private school"; or "we live in a good area of town"; or "we're in such a small town".... "We're trying to earn a living; to make ends meet. We try to have regular family dinners, and enjoy some weekend events together... taxi-ing to and from friends houses, the mall, soccer practice and so on...."

And then, one day they are in high school and these kinds of things happen. It is all too common. And then people around us wonder, and maybe We wonder how these things could possibly happen.... people like myself wonder why these teens have no empathy.... why they are vicious.

They've been cooked. Slow roasted by the school system. By the climate of this world. By Video games about war, stealing cars, hookers, or .... By social media.... By popular male and female performers also teaching anything but positive morals, or good qualities; and often promoting unhealthy views on sex and attitudes that de-value women.... Wow. I'm sounding awfully judgmental; awfully down on a lot of things. What is my point anyways?!

My point is:

I hope that when my children come into contact with the boiling water, they will hop out!!

For our family, this hope is a lot of work. It's meant following a path of natural learning, at home. It's meant making financial choices that support time together over many other things. It's meant being really specific about entertainment. And mostly, it's meant keeping our purpose of a trusting, close relationship foremost; one that models empathy and kindness. A relationship that is protective of their innocence, childhood, and feelings.
It means, (forgive my rudeness) raising them. It means doing our best and hoping. Reading stories like this, reflecting, and hoping.

I hope that as these tragedies happen, some people will go further than saying "What a shame... so sad." I hope that at least some people will start thinking deeper than that. And figuring out how these events are connected to their own families, because they are.  
~We are all connected.~

Old Dan Tucker... and Other Insanities

WHAT is going on?! 

I have been hearing.... literally, Old Dan Tucker being sung for days..... Sung by my children.

I hear it being serenaded while I'm in the shower;

belted out from the back seat while I'm driving;

chanted while we're walking;

and finally dialed down to a hum when I've begged for a break from the Insanity!!

And of course next thing I know it's stuck in MY head too... and then I'm humming it. Where is this coming from?

Old Dan Tucker is just one example of The Insanity. This year something has shifted. Did I say Shifted? What I meant to say was my world has been Flipped, turned-upside-down. (yes, much like the Will Smith song. lol)

This year while planning our learning year, (as much as one can plan that), I started feeling curious about the Waldorf philosophy; which led me, quite surprisingly to browsing through curriculum. Let me say that again: CURRICULUM. For me this is darn-near Shocking. For anyone who knows me knows, I have felt pretty passionately against curriculum; and certainly against anything that looks like school-at-home. These feelings were re-enforced when Liv and I were struggling our way through Kindergarten curriculum, and later struggling through many other bouts of "teaching" and "learning" how to read. Little did I know, the source of our struggle was undiagnosed Dyslexia and Dysgraphia. All I knew, and still know, is this kind of learning was not worth it, or fun, or successful for us. And yet here I was looking through curriculum.

So why on Earth am I feeling good about this?! ....It still sounds crazy.

My outlook, as I was browsing the "curriculum", is that it could be just one more resource, among many resources, that we may or may not use; depending on where we're at with our learning.... okaaaaay.... To my surprise, I found that the Waldorf ideas of protecting the rites of childhood deeply resonated with me; and the bits of curriculum I was seeing looked so multi-sensory. I was having a very strong feeling that this could be a beautiful fit for us.

The other thing that shifted my outlook is that my daughter, wait for it...... ASKED FOR CURRICULUM!! Workbooks to be specific. 

**still shaking my head in disbelief**

Here I had brainstormed with her all the interests and goals she had for herself for the year.... I'm typing up a plan. One that deliberately looks nothing like formal learning, one that is full of games and activities.... and she says, "mom, did you put some curriculum in that? I mean, you know, some workbooks and stuff? Cause I'm thinking I'm getting older and stuff, and I think I should start getting better at math and my spelling and things." 

HUH?! WHAT NOW?

So then again, maybe I was browsing curriculum because somewhere inside me, my intuition knew that this is where we were heading; that this is what was next for us. I don't know how many articles, stories and blogs I've read with the same happenings: lots of free, active, spirited life learning and then with age and interest, reading, and math and eventually more formal learning. I just never thought it would happen to us. I really didn't.

I've picked out but, ahem, not yet ordered curriculum. I'm still looking at it as a resource, just another option to use or not. And as usual, I'm following the lead of my little learners.... and they are leading me to playing "school". I'm not even kidding a little. All of my deep-set opposition to "school-at-home" style learning is having to bow to my children telling me that, "NO MOM, This is supposed to be how it looks.... We sit here, and you are there, and you teach us, and we have to put up our hands... and.... and.... and." .....AND truth be told, they are having a ton of fun with it, and we are learning spelling. And while I do have some inner conflict about this style of learning, it's pretty impossible to argue with them about this one. Or argue with myself, as long as this "school" game remains THEIR idea!

See what I mean? Insanity. World. up. side. down.

Know what else?
For the first time in 6 years my daughter is not taking dance. We are still a part of a belly dance group, but she isn't taking dance. Given the option to explore some new interests, Liv chose to take a break from it. She's found herself a fantastic horse riding mentor, and is in love with horses! Which is helping tremendously with her learning challenges and confidence. I'm still in shock. No dance. HUH.

While browsing through the previously mentioned forbidden fruit, I stumbled upon a new book; Simplicity Parenting. Again, something inside me said, "you have to order that book." The blurb about it mentioned the theme is "Too much". As I looked around, I literally saw Too Much. Too much mess, from too much stuff, in every room of our probably Too Much house. I wondered if this is what the book was about.
We had been recovering all summer from the previous year of Too Much screens; we've been trying to create new limits and routines surrounding that. I wondered if that was the Too Much being referred to in the book. Either way Simple sounded pretty inviting.
I received my new book this week, and have been hooked. And it is what I thought. Our Too Much environment. Full of Too much stuff.  Full of Too Much screens. Toys. Clothes. Adult conversation.

Which leads me to my next insanity. Simplifying my house. AKA- pulling up the utility trailer and making repeated trips to the dump and second hand store. All of these changes have me feeling a little overwhelmed, lost, excited, confused, surprised.... very.... just Very. Is that a feeling? Again. World. Up. Side. Down.

And so, fueled by my new book; accompanied by my family singing Old Dan Tucker; and inspired by our recently discovered major addiction to watching Little House, and Longing for a simpler life.... I am taking on the Too Much mess. I might even blog about our progress, and take pictures for accountability! LOL

Alright. Enough with writing. Time. To. Simplify.

Mom, why am i here?

My son is always amazing me with his questions, his evidence of deep and serious thinking. He may not know how to read or how to work out math on paper yet, but he is working out some very BIG questions. I  peeked in his room this morning, just as he was waking up....

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"Mom, why am i here?"

"What.... do you mean?"

"I mean, why am I here? What is my purpose? What am I doing HERE?"

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I wanted time to think about how to answer such a broad question; in classic "mom-manipulation" I invited him to join me for breakfast downstairs, so we could talk about it some more.

This was countered with an invitation to snuggle in bed.

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"This is a perfectly good place."

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I snuggled in, and asked him what he thought his purpose might be? 

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"Why do you think you're here?"

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His answer was that he was here because I wanted him, and because I prayed for him. And he is right, that's true. He was looking for something more meaningful to him.

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"The answer,"

I told him,

"is different for every person. Every person is unique, and has their own gifts; and their purpose is their own, what do you think yours might be?...."

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*silence*

"....i don't know...."

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"I know my purpose."

.... I  could see I had his attention....

"In this life, my purpose is to take care of you and our family;

my purpose is to cook, and care for the house,

to play with you and help you learn important things;

my purpose is to go to work, to earn money to help pay for the things our family needs.

I also get to make pottery, because I love doing that, and I'm good at it.

It's one of the gifts I've been given.

My purpose is to keep learning, to learn from you and anyone else who has something to share with me.

And also, to keep learning about our God Jehovah, and to help you to learn about Him as well."

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"That sounds like a lot of work. Actually, that sounds like mostly work." 

He sounded disappointed, and defeated, or perhaps this was just honest observation.

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"It is work.Your right.

But I love you, and I love our family, so taking care of us doesn't always feel like work. Sometimes I really enjoy it.

It feels good to see you growing happy and healthy.

And working at the store can be fun too. I'm tired when I get home, but it's fun being there.

I feel good knowing that my going there helps to buy you the things you need.

And making pottery is work too, but it doesn't feel like work;

because it's my gift, it's what I'm good at.

Some people are good at building, so that's what they do.

Jehovah made me good at making bowls, and mugs, and art so that's what I do.

And learning, well, that's just part of being alive.

You see, I love the things I work at, so it doesn't feel like work."

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"So what am I good at? What's my gift? My job? WHAT IS MY DESTINY!?"

He was sounding pretty intense here! :D (So dramatic! I suspect there may be some influence from anime here! ;)

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I worried about over simplifying.... none the less, I answered.

"Your job is to just be a kid! Your already great at that.

Your job is to play, and have fun, and to learn about the world.

To learn about Jehovah.

And to try things out, until you discover what you really love, and what you're good at.

You will find your gifts, and all you have to do to find them, is to keep being you."

 ~

~ Sometimes I really LOVE this Mama-gig ~