two tales of weaning

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning - Your Stories

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by http://codenamemama.com/2012/05/21/weaning/" target="_blank">Code Name: Mama and http://www.ahaparenting.com/" target="_blank">Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.



I have two lovely, beautiful, healthy children... and for each of them two very different tales of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and weaning. Different because they are each unique beings, entitled to their own stories; and also different because the first time around I was lacking in both knowledge, and good health.

My first baby only exclusively breastfed for 2 months, and then was on formula as well as nursing until, when she was 6 months, it was time to stop. I mourned the loss. I felt so sad, during those 4 months, as I continued to pump, and take herbs and drugs until she was 6 months old... I would have tried anything to keep it going! But alas, I had surgery when she was 2 months old and it all but dried me right up... never mind that she also had a tongue tie that was missed. Weaning her did not seem like much of a choice; it just happened. Eventually, she was just not interested and was getting her hunger met from foods and, to my disappointment, formula. I had a lot of health problems. My baby was cared for a lot by her dad and Gramma, thankfully I had support! I was thankful, I could see the bond she had with so many people.

As my daughter became a toddler, I became a doula. I felt passionate about helping families have support and access to information on natural pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding!

Pregnancy with my son was really beautiful. I felt healthy, and confident about being a mom! I had trust that my body knew what it was doing, if I would just let it. He was born at home, after about 8 hours of very manageable labour. Labouring naturally was a new experience for me, and being able to do that just impressed on me how powerful and capable my body was! Nursing a baby who wasn't drugged, and didn't have a tongue tie felt amazingly natural!!

My little guy was happy to nurse, and I was happy and thankful to nurse him anytime he needed it! Right from day 1, we slept together in his room on a double mattress. It was so satisfying to feel the bond that nursing him created. I knew he was secure and safe sleeping with me. I had heard of child-led weaning, and it made a lot of sense to me; it sounded so respectful of the little one and of human nature. This felt right and good to me.... not that it was always easy. We played musical beds as he got older; me splitting my time between sleeping with my husband and with my baby. It felt great to just let him eat off of my plate, tasting various things as he was curious. He had sippy cups sometimes, after 7 months old.

As he became a toddler, more and more people thought it was strange that I was still nursing him. My goal was at least 2 years, as that was the WHO recommendation at that time. When he was older than 2, he was nursing mostly at night time, and for naps.... maybe 6-8 times in a day. Some of his sessions were very short, some were just for comfort because he was tired or frustrated or hurt or teething. Nursing at 2 and 3 years old seemed shocking to a lot of people. I felt okay about that then, and still do. I know I was sure thankful to be nursing him when he got croup, twice. Occasionally, we would meet a gramma who thought it was great. I remember being asked "what if he wants to nurse until he's 5?" And thinking, "5 sounds so big".... but saying "if he still needs to and wants to when he's 5, then that's what we'll do." **BIG GRIN**

Sometimes I felt exhausted, and touched out. I tried not to complain to people who would encourage me to wean before we were both ready.

When he was 3 we were in a car accident that left me with constant pain in my tail bone and neck. It turned out to be nerve damage. The doctor wanted me to take drugs for it, and I didn't want to because it would have meant weaning. Even my doctor sort of giggled, and said that if we continued our nursing relationship it was for US, it was for bonding and comfort. I told him I wanted to try healing naturally, and keep on nursing. He was supportive of that, and that's just what we did!

As Oak was approaching his 4th birthday, the pain was really getting to me, it was not healing. We were only nursing at bedtime and first thing in the morning; he was naturally reducing his number of feedings. As he approached his 4th birthday, I started talking with him about not nursing anymore once he turned 4. He didn't seem opposed or upset by this idea. He has a number of cousins the same age, who had finished nursing for years... I told him they didn't nurse anymore.

We counted down the days together, until he turned 4. So I did encourage him, but we worked together at it. It felt mutual. Had he shown signs of needing it still, I would have continued; but he was okay :) We did lots of long cuddles at bedtime, sometimes skin-to-skin. (and I got to take some drugs and get relief from the pain!) He was weaned, AND I felt good about it! I didn't feel like I had taken away something he still needed, and I was thankful that he was old enough to have some understanding and communication around this.

He is a super healthy boy! And I will be forever grateful for the bonding and snuggle time. Those are our stories. What's yours?

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Thank you for visiting the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Dionna at http://codenamemama.com/" target="_blank">Code Name: Mama and Dr. Laura at ahaparenting.com/" target="_blank">Aha! Parenting.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants (and many thanks to Joni Rae of http://jonirae.com/">Tales of a Kitchen Witch for designing our lovely button):
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 21 with all the carnival links.)

• http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/breastfeeding-weaning-identity/" target="_blank">On Breastfeeding, Weaning, and One Mother’s Identity — Jessica at Natural Parents Network has been nursing one or more of her children since 1993 - breastfeeding is wrapped up in her concept of mothering and herself. She shares her thoughts on weaning.


• two tales of weaning — Aspen at Aspen Mama writes about their countdown to wean.


• 
  

AND... I Would Do It Again!

As my youngest is 6, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on how much I have learned from my little ones. I am quite certain I have learned at least as much from them as they have from me. They have taught me how to be wrong. Alot. And then they have taught me what works for them, and I've had to change. Alot.

Below is a list of Things I Would Do Again, the same.

Birthing my babies at home... So, So fantastic. Getting to stay in my home, surrounded by the people I love and the midwives I trust. Nothing could have felt more natural. I would do it again tomorrow.

Finding a way to make co-sleeping and on-demand nursing work... I remember my sleepy stooper... wondering down the hall, to sit in a rocker and awkwardly, exhaustedly nurse my first born 3-4 times a night. No wonder nursing didn't last long the first time around! I had this picture in my head of my perfect sleeping baby, in her crib, in her room... and I fought pretty persistently to achieve that perfect picture. Nothing could have been less natural. Eventually I realized, she needed to be with me. Which honestly, made our queen-size rather crowded; but it still felt a lot better. When she got too big to fit, she slept on a foamy in our room. As a toddler, we got her a double size bed, where her and I could sleep together without disturbing dad. It took some time, but Olivia had taught me that her need to be close to us, to feel safe and secure at night was more important than our perceived need for privacy; and far more important than the ridiculous fear that she would never learn to sleep on her own if we met that need. I will always feel good for meeting her need.

Nursing until... That double bed came in awfully handy when we had our son! After only nursing Olivia exclusively for 2 months, and then being all dried up by 6 months. I was determined to make a longer go of nursing this time. After having to help Olivia through nearly constant ear and lung infections, as well as many digestive problems, nursing as long as I could was super important! That meant sleeping with Oakley, in the double bed, and nursing all night. Surprisingly, I got a lot more sleep this way! No walking, or sitting, or even waking to nurse! He quickly found his way to latching without my help. This felt natural; and I felt positive about meeting his needs for closeness, security and nourishment! Not too surprisingly, he was a much more contented baby; the crying and health problems that we had experienced with Olivia were not making a repeat appearance with our son. We made it to the recommended 2 year mark, and just kept going, until when he was 4, we agreed to wean.

Letting my kids lead the way. This was a tricky one. After clinging to a mental picture of how this parenting thing should look, and discovering that this only leads to suffering.... I came around to the idea that I needed to be more open to the absence of a picture! The first time I heard someone say that children are equal to their parents, I felt defensive. I didn't like how that sounded. Compared to the beliefs I held in my mind, about families, and obedience.... this just sounded wrong. By now I had been wrong at this parenting-gig before; I had learned a lot about doing it wrong. I had learned by now, that my children's needs were equal to mine; just a real and valid. Seeing the success of co-sleeping had taught me that. I tried valuing their wants, feelings, and preferences too, viewing them as equal to mine. This lead to more challenges day-to-day; at first. But it also lead to children who feel important. They are articulate about expressing their feelings, fears, needs, and preferences. This does not mean that they get what they want all the time! In fact, what it means is that we have all gained experience in problem solving and negotiating. This means, for example, that when it was really important to Olivia to have a violin, and we couldn't afford one, we brainstormed ways to work together to make the money. It took two years of saving, and making and selling jewelry together; but she did it! We did it! Her want was important to us, so we did it together. This felt like a big accomplishment! All of this Following Their Lead business naturally lead to....

Unschooling! Following their lead with learning!! This is something I have become SO passionate about because I have seen how wonderful it can be! Unschooling honors natural learning. It is following curiosity. It is following passion. It is lifelong learning, not something just done in the school years. Unschooling is limitless! It is not divided into grade levels, or expected outcomes; it is not worksheets, or learning in subjects; it is all inclusive! I have watched my daughter, who has severe dyslexia teach herself how to read, because of allowing her to lead the way in her learning. She has built her own weekly learning routine which includes dance, violin, volunteering at a seniors home, learning about the bible, learning sign language, cooking and sewing..... she is a very busy girl; and she is brilliantly directing her own learning!

Staying home with my kids long after a year... of course, not everyone has this option. For us, it meant selling our home and moving to a more affordable one. It meant asking for help from extended family and being thankful when they lent us support. It has meant being financially very poor, according to our standard of living in this country. The more time I have spent with my kids though, the more I like them. Sometimes when I hear people complaining about their kids, I think to myself, it's because they don't spend enough time with them. Did I just say that out loud?! Oops. That's not to say we don't have rough days. WE DO. We have days where everyone is whiny, when they are fighting over toys, when they are picky about food; we have days when I count down the hours until they go to sleep! But it is worth it. And as I see how quickly they are growing, and getting to know them, I'm so grateful I've gotten to be here for so much of it.

Baby, toddler, and child massage! In the beginning, I did this to help Olivia with her digestion and sleep, which it did. In the end, I have spent countless hours bonding with my babies through massage.... and the side effect is that they love giving massage too! :D

Getting a learning assessment... I know not many people talk about this one... but I'm going to because it was one of the hardest decisions to make; and one of the most intense processes.... and I wish more parents had of been open to talking about it. Going through the assessment was not about getting a label for us; it was about learning strengths and weaknesses. It was about finding out how we could be more supportive. Ultimately, it was about learning how Olivia learns best; and it has resulted in her having more and more success and confidence.

Skipping the shots in favor of building up the immune system... I know, such a controversial one, what am I even doing talking about this one?! Hey, this is my list. You can make your own; and on it can be "Getting the vaccines..." ;)

Olivia reacted to the vaccines. Her reaction lead to months of endless, inconsolable screaming; this was not colic. This was her brain being affected badly by the "medicine" that was supposed to protect her. Combined with a rough pregnancy, birth, and problems nursing; this batch of shots added a layer of "challenge" that her very small body simply did not need. I have no doubts that these contributed to her lung infections, ear infections, multiple allergies, and learning disabilities. I would not do it again. Seeing the contrast in my son's health, having not had any vaccines is remarkable. He had croup; and that has been his only serious illness. He has minor asthma, which we treat with herbs. He has never had an ear infection. He has been an incredibly healthy boy!

Realizing that the advice from the neighbor, the lady on the bus or the guy in the grocery store is not always good. My neighbor told me to let Olivia cry-it-out. This was during the time I was attached to the baby-in-crib idea. This was bad advice. My sickly, "failure to thrive", reacting-to-vaccines baby needed ME! She needed closeness and comfort; she needed to know that I heard her cries. Her cries, that were her only means of communicating. I will always regret taking that advice, especially given the link to SIDS, and other health issues associated with this "method."

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky

I felt so sorry as I came across stories like this one:

"Especially in the first six months, avoid sleep trainers who advise you to let your baby “cry it out.” Only you know what “it” is and how to respond appropriately to your baby. The first SIDS baby in my practice awakened frequently. Her mother responded intuitively to her and nursed her back to sleep. When that baby was four months of age, a friend warned this mother that she was “spoiling that baby and that she should let her cry it out.” That night her cries went unanswered – permanently." This quote from - http://doulamomma.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/seven-steps-to-reduce-the-risk-of-sids/_mckay.html

Thankfully, I did not believe the lady that told me holding Olivia during her naps would stop her from growing! lol Obviously, I have made my peace with doing what feels natural for me now, and letting the advice goooooo... even though, I'm sure that means I sound crazy a good portion of the time ;)

Letting go of the fear, and the notion of tough love.... fear that I could do the impossible and Spoil a Baby! Fear that my babies would always need to sleep in my bed if I gave in... (really? Anyone know of a teen who wants to sleep with his parents?! ew.) Fear that my babies wouldn't stop nursing if I let it go on until they stopped needing it. Fear of people looking at me funny, or thinking I was weird. Fear that they would catch some deathly disease for not being vaccinated. Fear that they would be self-centered if I met and valued all of their needs. Fear that they wouldn't become independent and confident people if I spent so much time with them. Fear that they wouldn't grow and become great things if I allowed their natural abilities to take the lead.

Fear. Limiting and controlling Fear.

So there's my list.... what's on your's?

Innocent

I haven't written here for some time. Partly because I haven't had much to say, partly because sometimes I say the wrong thing. And by that I mean that I say something that offends someone, or breaks down my relationship with someone. Neither is fun, not offending, but also not sharing.

With that in mind continue reading, because I have a story to share. A story about Innocence.

My son is 6. He tends to say some crazy things, in his innocence, of course. Like the time he told me my singing made food come up his throat... Or the time he told our guest she had a big bum! He is full of surprises.

The other night his deep thinking was the surprise. He said to me " you know mom, people are innocent". He sounded so sincere, so thoughtful. I didn't know where this was coming from. I was quiet, I wondered if he could know what innocent meant or where he had heard this word. He continued, " you see, mom, when the first people were here, everything was perfect, here was no right and wrong, the world was innocent. And then Satan came down and messed everything up. Now people don't know, and so people are still innocent."

I couldn't help but be amazed, and nod in agreement, and hug him, and tell him how much I love him. It may have looked a lot like "praise".... But it was oozing out of so much warmth. My little guy just demonstrated such a deep and complex understanding of innocence. Wow.

No specific teacher or lesson brought about this understanding. Dare I say it arose organically, from his freedom, his innocence.

DUMB.

"Books are dumb. Books are SOOOOO DUMB. They are so dumb, why did people even make them? DUMB."

I had to agree. Dumb books. Full of Dumb pictures of Dumb animals.

You see looking at some (dumb) books was the answer to the question, "can I watch a movie tonight before bed?" So you see the books were Dumb.

We looked at the (dumb) books together, making sure to comment on all the Dumb pictures.
"Dumb dog. Dumb cat. Dumb."
"Dumb bird. Dumb flamingo. Dumb."
"Dumb penguins. All these penguins are dumb. wait. Except this one, this cute baby one is not dumb."
"Dumb duck. Dumb hippos bum."
"Dumb.... hey, wait a minute, this guinea pig is halfway cool, halfway dumb."
"But all These pictures, on this page?.... Dumb."
"Oooohhhhh, but this one, this owl. He is really cool."
"And hey, what on this page do you think is the only cool one?"
"The cougar. I think the cougar is awesome."
Our Dumb adventure came to a close with a very Dumb zebra.
"Dumb Zebra."



What kind of sense does this make?! Aren't I supposed to be fostering a "love of reading" a "love of books"? My internal voice was freaking out.... and I was telling it to shut-up. DUMB, had given my son a voice tonight. It had Empowered him to look at books with me, when what he wanted to be doing, was watch a show.

Somewhere along the natural learning adventure, I realized I had to stop trying to force things. Trying to force learning, force behavior, force compliance. Forcing is Dumb. And the connection we had while reading Dumb books, was anything but Dumb. All the giggling, wasn't Dumb. Our enjoyable reading time would have been so de-railed if we had of focused on Dumb being a "Bad word." If we had of given DUMB all the power and attention. If we had of come to the rescue of the books! Can you imagine: "Books aren't dumb! Books are great! I love books, look at all these cool pictures?!"


No we have an agreement. Books are DUMB.

Not back to school and.... I. AM. A. POTTER.

The beginning of the school year means beaches and parks everywhere are empty... banks, grocery stores, and other places are child-free zones too... Facebook is full of statuses referencing the first day of school.... and I feel compelled to write about it; to reference it too. Only I'm not sure why. I don't want to do my semi-annual "back to prison" rant. Or go on about the hidden lessons school teaches. I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I don't want to make it sound like I think "natural learning" to be the only "right" way. I don't want to forget about the children for whom school is a refuge. Or the single parent families, and other families who financially, emotionally or otherwise really benefit from the support that school provides for them. I also don't want to leave out the children who truly LOVE school; they get along well with the other kids; they are ready for the independence; they love and relate to their teacher- who is also amazing and dedicated; this child is neither ahead or behind, this child is thriving in their grade level. For them school is GREAT! Okay. I think I have covered all my bases. I get it. School can be great, it can be crappy, and it sometimes does or doesn't serve it's purpose.
So just to clarify, this area is for me to write about what our family is doing; to provide a glimpse of what learning looks like for us, because for some, "natural learning" is a new idea, or is something they have wondered about, but don't fully understand. This space is Not for putting-down or being right. Not to preach. Yet occasionally, I like to give a voice to the child who doesn't get a choice, or who is being bullied, or who gets stuck with a teacher who isn't connecting with them; or who maybe has a learning disability that is getting missed.
This space is for sharing our reasons for natural learning, and also what it looks like for us. Great! Now that that's out of the way..... I wanted to make a comment about it being the first day of school on my fb, but I couldn't as we don't do school.... which led me to "first day of natural learning"?? well, that doesn't make sense, does it? Because natural learning happens all the time, naturally.

So what does the beginning of the school year look like for us??
It looks like making a plan.
It means finding out what our children want to learn about?
What do they wonder about? What do they want to try? What makes them excited?
It looks like finding out, and then creating ways to honor those interests.

It means that this year we will be skating, swimming, dancing, taking nature walks; learning about desert plants and animals; learning about Canada; mermaids, pirates and vikings; we will be having a traditional bellydancing party and feast; and a drumming circle; we will be doing science experiments, learning about sea creatures, and owls; we will be visiting the wildlife recovery center; reading, writing, drawing; learning to play the drums, guitar and violin; exploring sign language, french and spanish; building and beading and playing games; sewing, measuring, counting money; cooking and making our own cook book; learning about RAW food and nutrition; recycling and caring for the environment..... wow, its quite a list.... and the beauty of it, to me at least, is that my little learners came up with it themselves! and maybe we will get to explore all these things this year, and maybe we won't... and probably there's a whole lot of other things that didn't make the list that will come up later... and then the plan will change and grow, just like people do.

OH, and I left something out. POTTERY! We will be doing pottery! Why? Because as it turns out: I. AM. A. POTTER. I have always been an artist. But I have been resistant to labels. resistant to attaching my identity to any one thing. I like this idea that a person just IS. The things they do, and think and have are separate from their actual identity... that way in the absence of the things they do, think and have, one still IS. But whatever. IS-SHMIS. I'm a potter.
I LOVE It! I love the in-the-moment focus of working on the wheel. I love the feel of my hands getting all mucky. I love that when i screw something up, i can dump it in the bucket and recycle the clay. i love that clay is earth. I love looking at things i've made, realizing I could do better and deciding to let-go of it; smashing it into the muck bucket. I love that glazes are still so mysterious to me. I love that I have no idea what I'm going to get when I paint or pour it on there. I love that there is so much to learn. ~And I love that it is SO good for my children to learn through too. ~Good for them to carve letters and pictures into, good for them to have something to control ~ it's a good thing to push clay around! i love that it teaches them about letting-go, when a piece cracks during is drying process, or when it breaks during firing, I love when they make something they feel proud of, and i love when they choose to give it as a gift...

Yes! with my studio well on it's way to being set up. I. AM. A. POTTER.

In Honor of Terrible Ideas.....

"In Honor of Terrible Ideas...." has become a powerful sentence around here. It prefaces what one is about to say next as a possibly terrible idea! It tells the hearer that the idea-giver already knows it is potentially crazy! It tells the hearer to be kind.... it also creates a kind of humor and lightness surrounding the creating of our life.

I'm sharing this phase because before our use of it, one would share a truly terrible idea- without the preface, with not always a very good outcome. Sometimes people hear Crazy ideas and feel scared, or offended, or defensive, or afraid.... In Honor Of Terrible Ideas has been a useful tool.... Prefaced by this Honor, a number of truly terrible ideas have been shared! And a number of truly terrible ideas that have turned out to be great (or at least good learning experiences) have been shared....

~

In Honor of Terrible Ideas.... (a list of ideas from our past that at first, seemed truly terrible! or at least seemed to hold the potential to be terrible...)
~
Let's have a baby at home!
Let's not vaccinate at all this time
Hey, what if we didn't mush up the baby's food, or buy jarred food what if we just shared our food with him
What if I just sleep with him, instead of fully waking to nurse every couple hours
What if I accept that nursing throughout the night is a need, and I don't try to force him to sleep through the night
What if I nurse him as long as he wants to
What if we don't send our children to school.... (which later led to...)
Hey, what if we let them learn through play and interest instead of imposing this curriculum
What if we give our children plenty of extra time, space and freedom to learn things they find challenging, instead of trying to "make" something happen... what if 10 yo IS the "normal" age for our children to start reading
What if we make instruments available to play, but not lessons or teaching unless hounded to do so
What if we abandon classical discipline like time-outs, and rewards; in favor of sincere, gentler teaching

~

In Honor of Terrible Ideas.... that we still don't know the outcome of, but the ride has been fun...
~
What if we try to book a cabin for our vacation this year
What if we put our house for sale for a bit and see what happens
What if we renovate, knocking out some walls here, building walls here, and putting windows here
What if we get a puppy, if we get a house
What if we tried to build one of those in-ground trampolines
...or a cob playhouse
....Or a pottery studio....
or started a local learning circle....
~
AND some ideas were indeed Truly Terrible (for our family).... and now we know... :D
~
What if we got a chinchilla
What if we abandon bedtimes altogether
Let's sell everything we own and live in a camper-ized bus! (would still like to do some variation of this, one day.... but it is a Terrible Idea ;)
What if we try doing curriculum for a bit
~

What Terrible Ideas have you Honored lately?

Is There Such a Thing as Organic Intervention?

Is There Such a Thing as Organic Intervention?


I was led to asking this question after researching and digesting a massive amount of suggested “interventions” related to my daughters learning disabilities.


Something feels really icky about it. I felt unrest. I felt anxious. And what was worse I couldn’t put my finger on why. These interventions imply that each day “should” be scheduled, that specific subjects and tasks be done at specific times, and in a specific way. These interventions feel un-natural, wrong, and yucky, and these suggestions sound like things that will not “work” for my girl. So for days I have been thinking things over and trying to make sense of these ideas.


How could I make peace with these interventions, and hold true to our Natural Learning lifestyle? Do I need to make peace with these “interventions“? Do I need to honor them? or do I need to pay attention to the feeling that these ideas are not sitting right with me?


Lately, I’m hearing comments like “academically, we need to work hard to get her caught up….“ Caught up to who? I dare to ask. Caught up to her peer group? Caught up to her grade level? Caught up to.... herself? For what purpose exactly? Is she in a race with her peers? With the world? Do we value a system that wants to produce cookie-cutter people? Does my daughter want to be a cookie-cutter person? Does she desire SAMENESS with everyone else? Do I want to convey the message that “Sameness” is something we value and pursue?


Same knowledge, same abilities, same goals. Certainly this sameness is NOT on my list of priorities.


I have also heard the thoughts that natural learning carries a big risk of easily getting behind. Again, behind whom? And in what? And so the fear is of what then? That one might not “catch-up”? That one might not reach a level of perceived “sameness” with the world? And that surly this would lead one to have trouble graduating, getting into a good college and making money? Is that the fear? Assuming of course, that money is all important! What if they never learn to complete tasks on time? Is that the fear? Is it time management?


Some have also expressed well-meaning concern that if our daughter had been in the regular public school system, perhaps the school would have noticed she needed help sooner; maybe they would have provided her with the help she needed earlier. Perhaps that is true. Perhaps it is not. Perhaps “Sooner” would not have been beneficial to her. In fact, I’m pretty sure the timing needed to be right for her, and that rightness can only be determined by her. And I’m pretty convinced that her and I, by learning together for the whole 10 years she’s been alive, have a very good handle on how she learns best, and what things are most challenging for her. In a school system with a 15% illiteracy rate among grade 10 students and a country with a 40% overall illiteracy rate, I have serious doubts that this institution would have done anything near what her and I have accomplished together.

I would like to venture a theory of my own….
Perhaps, "some" public school children are “behind”….
behind as I would define it, according to what I value.
Behind in the ability to communicate in an authentic, honest, respectful way,
behind in the ability to form quality relationships with people of a variety of ages;
Behind in the ability to accept, to co-operate instead of compete and compare.
Behind in recognizing and developing their our unique talents.

Maybe “some” of these children would benefit from an Organic Intervention?

The kind of intervention that allows them to sleep in, to have slow, unhurried mornings.
The kind of intervention that would
have them putting their hands and feet in the dirt to grow food;
the kind that would have them learning
what kinds of foods are good for healing and healthy living;
maybe they could learn how to prepare these foods.
The kind of intervention that involves following a curiosity,
finding a mentor and learning all about whatever interest gives them life;
the kind of intervention that would hold that passion as more valuable than Sameness.

The kind of intervention that would involve volunteer work,
and getting to know Grammas and Grampas from many families.
The kind of intervention that would allow a child to spend time in a room full of instruments,
and the freedom to play each one,
to write their own songs.

The kind of intervention that walks in the woods,
and plays along the creek; throwing rocks, spotting fish and birds.
An intervention that involves being with ones family way more days than not;
an intervention that involves chasing butterflies- both real and figurative.
The kind of intervention that encourages creativity,
and the valuing of process over outcome.
The kind of intervention that would encourage literacy through the exploration of interests; reading and research would happen for the same reasons it happens for adults,
it would arise naturally,
dare I say Organically.

I guess that answers my question; there is such a thing as Organic Intervention! For this is what we’ve been doing all along. And as far as learning disabilities go, we will not be abandoning our Natural Learning ways. It took 5 years of consciously following this path to build faith; to see it working. I did not worry that my daughter would get behind in learning to walk, or talk, or eat solid foods; I trusted whole-heartedly that she was designed to do those things, and naturally would. I have seen a motivation for learning in her that was also put there by a designer; she is perfect and beautiful and anything but learning “dis-abled” in my eyes. She is a living, breathing, growing, learning being.

She is naturally a Blue Rose; why would I want intervention to make her Red?

http://www.torontosun.com/news/canada/2009/06/04/9670181-sun.html

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/307245

http://www.conferenceboard.ca/hcp/details/education/adult-literacy-rate-high-skills.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_rose