An Interview with Olivia (and some other home learning musings)

This blog began as an un-schooling and natural parenting blog. I wanted to document our journey, and be an encouragement and possibly an inspiration to other home learning parents. Home learning is a HUGE undertaking. I underestimated the level of time and commitment. I also underestimated how many of my own issues would be triggered: my competitive nature, my anxiety, and my insecurities.

As Olivia begins grade 11, I took time to reflect and collected some of my thoughts here.

A (not so) quick summary of our fun with home learning and learning differences

I have always thought of my daughter as gifted because of her many talents. Even as a very young one she was able to draw amazingly well, to dance remarkably and passionately, her empathy and compassion for people was off the charts. She's a natural musician- playing violin by ear, and singing as it turns out. These were her inborn interests- her natural leanings. She was confident and fearless!

When my daughter was 10, she was diagnosed with dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia; basically reading, writing, and math learning disorders. Comparatively speaking, 10 years old is considered pretty late to get this kind of information.

We had been approaching "schooling" from a natural and trusting perspective. I believed (and still do) that people are learning beings, regardless of age we are always learning. I believed the academic tasks we associate with school learning, the reading, writing, and math, were things that could be learned without a curriculum- lead by passion, interest, and necessity.

Moving forward with this new diagnosis, we learned that the recommended interventions were largely unavailable in our small community. I wondered: Have we failed her by not forcing a curriculum or doing a more traditional method of schooling? What would we do now? For a time I felt very lost, insecure, and at odds with myself and my choices. My competitive nature had me comparing my daughter with others her age, even though this conflicted with my core beliefs about natural learning. She too, would compare herself to her peers, finding her deficits and feeling negatively about her differences.

What I had to understand is that my daughter's brain is wired differently. This was not my fault, and all the un-schooling philosophy in the world had not "caused" her challenges.

Olivia adds, "Different has a stigma of always being a bad thing, when it doesn't have to be. I knew I was different and I always looked at it as a bad thing. It's only been for a few years that I haven't felt that way. But it feels better now to see it as a good thing. From a psychology standpoint, when you are younger, you always feel more connected to people but when you're older there's a separation from everything else and you start to see yourself as your own person. Separate from others, separate from your parents, separate from your friends or peers, but when you're young there isn't a difference between you and the people around you. There isn't that separation. Now that I'm older, there is a separation and I can see that I am my own person and I can realize that I am not so-and-so and I am my own being. I am me. Reading about other people with dyslexia and some of the amazing things they were able to do, helped to take away the stigma of it being bad and it put a lighter spin on it. It didn't have to be a weakness, it could also be a strength in some ways."

The school encouraged us to continue on as we always had, and not to push her academically but to support her in her strengths.

Olivia says "because you did this, it helped me to see dyslexia as a strength."
 


She taught herself to read shortly after diagnosis. Many of the things we did to support her had nothing directly to do with reading, writing, or math. Horse back riding, art and pottery, and dance. We found tutors who were patient and kind. They would allow her to take her time and make mistakes. The human connection between them seemed to be the most important part. One tutor began to work with her natural creative inclinations and inspired her to start writing. Olivia's love of telling stories motivated her to want to create stories to share with others and she completed her first novel!

She says "I always wondered about the writers of stories, what gave them drive to write this? What inspired this? What made them want to create this? I wondered if I could write a story. Would people would want to read it? And if they would wonder who wrote it, and what made me want to write. More than that, I wanted to prove that I could do it."

Which brings us to now... grade 11

Olivia has only been reading for 6 years. Think about that for a minute. In 6 years she caught up to her grade level. She is the expert on her experience so I asked her some questions:
  
How is it that you are "caught up" to grade level in only 6 years?

"It was motivation and a lot of hard work. I think it was my love of stories and wanting to share those stories with other people that gave me the drive to learn and keep working on it even though it was challenging."

 

What would you say to other home learning parents whose children have learning differences?

 

"Keep encouraging your kids to do what they're good at and do the things that they love."

 

How will that help them to get better at the things they are struggling with?

 

"For example, if they have dyslexia, if they are able to see that dyslexia also comes with a lot of good things, not just the challenges it makes it a lot easier to cope."

 

What would you say to parents that are worried that children won't learn what they need to know?

 

"Kids like to ask questions and find the answers. Wanting to find the answers becomes the motivation. It's kind of a domino effect. It just kinda happens. It depends what kind of learner kids are too, are they someone who learns best by listening or are they maybe more visual or hands on? It depends on the person. Explore how your kid learns best, what is their preferred way of learning?"

 

What inspires you? What's next?

 

"That's a big question... there's so much. Last year I got so much feedback from my classmates about my novel. Some wanted to know more about certain characters and others wanted to know about my creative process and what points I wanted to stand out, such as the morals of the story. I was writing it in the same few years that I was realizing that dyslexia wasn't a bad thing. All the characters were very different, but they were all so wonderful in their own ways. It was really inspiring!

I'm working on a new novel and I'm excited to see what kind of feedback I get from it because it's very different from things I've previously written."

If any of this post resonates with you because you are a home learner, or a parent of a child who learns differently, or maybe just someone feeling a little lost. (September is notorious for making me feel like I'm bobbing around in vast, sometimes stormy ocean.)
The following is my heartfelt unsolicited advice:

1. Breathe. Really take time everyday to breathe. It might mean taking a walk, sitting outside, or hiding in the bathroom. (I know how it is, sometimes that's our best option!) But breathe.

2. Decide what is REALLY important to you when it comes to your family's learning, because you are the parent and you get to do that! Is it A's in every subject? Is it enjoying your time together, even the learning time? What kind of qualities do you want them to have as adults? Think beyond curriculum, what skills/qualities do you want to nurture in them? Do you want them to be kind, considerate, confident? Do you want them to understand what their strengths are and how to chase the things they feel passionate about?

3. Realize that a stressed out brain doesn't learn. This is science. If your child's brain is flooded with stress hormones for whatever reason, (they are struggling with the subject, they're uninterested, they want to run, they're hungry or tired...) the learning simply won't happen. It can't, the stressed out brain only cares about survival. I would extend this to include that a stressed out brain doesn't teach very well either. When my brain is stressed or anxious, I'm a mess. I'm in a hurry. I can be very unreasonable. Nothing I do from that place is going to support learning, except my walking away to calm down. Learn to recognize when stress is at play so you can take care of yourself and your little one - do something different!

4. Fun and engagement is when learning happens, so figure out how to make it fun. If that means talking to the teacher and trying to make adjustments to the plan, then do it! If that means scrapping the plan and building your own based on your child's needs, then do that! (Isn't that at least part of the reason we choose home learning in the first place? We want the best fit for our kids?)

5. Take your time because you actually have a lot of it. The time period between kindergarten and graduation is 13+ years. That's a ton of opportunity to enjoy being with your little one. The learning will happen, I promise. It can't not happen, unless you are all swimming in stress 24/7, see no 3.

*As a side note, my son also taught himself to read at 10 years old (no dyslexia, just his time to learn it). He too is reading at his grade level now. He just started grade 7. I never wasted spent my time forcing him to learn what sounds each letter makes, but he learned it because it became important and relevant to him. When he was in the early grades we spent time learning about things he was interested in, in ways that worked for him. He'll be doing the FSA testing this year to see how he compares to others in his grade, I'll let you know how it goes... I know I'm curious.

6. You got this. You grew and birthed this little being into existence. Arguably, you love them more than anyone. So listen to that mama gut. You got this.

Click here for some of our fave resources from earlier years :)

Unschooling / Natural Learning ~ For The Win! (Even With Dyslexia)

Not so long ago, only 3 short years, I was writing in this space about my daughter's learning disabilities. She was in the process of having her learning assessed.

To catch you up, the results showed, she has dyslexia (reading), dysgraphia (writing), and a math disability that I can never remember the official name for. Having her assessment done was a huge decision, again, one which I wrote about at great length. I'm writing today because I believe it's important to continue to tell our story. Choosing the learning path of unschooling/natural learning can make one feel lonely and misunderstood at times; and certainly having a learning disability or raising a child with one (or a few) can also feel isolating at times. It is with my daughter's permission that I continue to share our story.

Three years ago, when she was diagnosed, the focus of conversation was often on "interventions"... What program, tutor or therapy would address her deficits? At the time, I felt very frustrated at our lack of available resources. We live in a small town, and many of the things suggested simply were not available where we live. 

I felt insecure and afraid sometimes that my daughter may not get the help that the experts felt was essential. 

So what happened next?

She spent one year working at a small farm, and creating art in a local pottery studio.
How did this address her needs? These are not exactly recommended "interventions". 

A professional could probably break it down; but an educator, I am not. I am simply a mom; so I can only speak to what I saw, and what my daughter has been gracious enough to share with me as I'm writing.

After her initial diagnosis, I saw relief. I saw relief at having a name for a problem she knew was there; but had not been validated. Before her assessment, she carried frustration and anxiety. She knew she was different. No matter how hard she worked to be like her peers, she couldn't be. They knew it, and she, unfortunately felt it. I witnessed her negative emotions turning inward, against herself; I think that was the most concerning. She is bright and gifted, but all she could see were her short comings. It is for this reason that when parents ask me about assessments; I, in turn ask about the child's emotions. How does the child feel about them self? Are they noticing and feeling the differences? Are their peers noticing? Is it affecting their relationships with others and with them self?... But I digress.

Having a name for her difference meant when she felt it, she could say "oh, that's my dyslexia". When friends or family noticed her struggle she could explain, "it's because I have dyslexia."
A diagnosis relieved her of feeling that it was because she didn't work hard enough, or feeling that she must be stupid. No, she has a brain that works like people who are given a dyslexic brain. No shame needed.

I asked my girl what about working at the farm helped her. She says having a routine helped her to improve her sequencing. Talking to the animals helped her by helping her to feel understood. Building a relationship with the horse, and being able to communicate through the bridle helped. She says that when riding the horse, her and the horse would share their anxiety. Not exactly a traditional dyslexia intervention. 
With the lack of resources, we continued to approach her learning the way we always had: with the belief that she is built to learn; she is endowed with the wisdom to know what she needs. Her work on the farm inspired her to want to make a movie on the farm. She tacked writing a script with passion, and confidence; and while her spelling, punctuation and penmanship were impressively behind her peers, it didn't matter - to her or to us.



At the pottery studio too, she got to experience success. She has always been gifted visually. Here she got to create and develop her talent in this area. Again, she was inspired to make things that incorporated script. Her "output" as it would be called by the Powers That Be, would have been extremely low if we consider that what was recommended was intensive 2-5 day per week of official interventions.

My daughter's healing was first, emotional. Her confidence and self-esteem had taken a big hit. This time was for her to feel success. For her to own her diagnosis; and to feel our confidence in her.

The following year, we did find a tutor. She wasn't in our town, and traveling to visit her proved to be costly and sometimes due to weather, just plain impossible. Again, what was recommended, was at least twice per week. It just wasn't realistic for us. So we tried once a week; which eventually turned into only twice per month. Overall, she did not have very many visits. My daughter would work with her tutor for a total of 3 hours each visit; one of which was spent riding her horse! To begin with, my daughter admits she wasn't thrilled at the idea of working with the tutor. She says she agreed to it by accident; that I asked her about it while she was distracted. She says she imagined that working with a tutor would be like spending time with someone who wanted to change her. Seriously, just take a moment and digest that.


Once she started working with her though, she found that she really liked her. She was a really nice lady with whom she connected. And of course, riding never hurt her motivation!

The next year, she had no "interventions" at all. Wait. That's not entirely true. The school we work with, generously set her up with a program for kids with dyslexia, for me to work through with her. It was a FAIL. Frustration reared it's ugly head once again. Her confidence and our relationship was taking a hit. If I had continued to act out of fear, I would have pushed it longer than I had. Thankfully, we acted in favor of love and peace instead.
She spent the year devouring every book she could get her hands on: she has read the whole Little House series, Little Women, The Bread Winner Series, the first 4 books of the Lemony Snicket Series, the old Peter Pan, 3 of the Mysterious Bennedict Society, BFG, and both of the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory books, James and Giant Peach, The Hobbit.... the list goes on and on...
She also joined a belly dance group, and choreographed a dance for our group, and continued learning violin.

If I've learned one thing the most, it's that when it comes to learning; Emotion is Everything!! It is at the root of our motivation and success. Positive feelings, inquiry and passion create learning. Period. So "intervene" with activities that create these emotions and learning success will follow.

 

 

Last year, despite being granted an exemption, my girl chose to participate in the standardized testing.With the help of a scribe, she scored in the average range! Go figure that.


This year marked the fourth year since her first assessment. The Powers That Be felt she was due for an updated assessment. She jumped at the offer. Unfortunately, she misunderstood what this was all about. With all the obvious progress she had made she thought it was possible that the examiner would tell her she no longer had dyslexia! So when the results came in showing all of her vast improvements, all she heard was that she still had this difference. She was incredibly disappointed; but with some time and reassurance she has gained a better understanding.

I'm the most excited to share with you what I believe is the most amazing thing about the results. This is the main reason for this post...

As I looked down the list of official recommendations, it may as well have been a list of activities she was already engaged in. Creative writing and drama- she has organized a group of our local home learners to prepare a drama. She has written a script, and is actively directing the rehearsals. She has discovered online creative writing forums where she has been posting a story she has been working on. Continuing to learn violin, to improve her decoding and fine motor skills. Non-competitive sports, where a motion is repeated, such as belly dance. Obviously, there were other very simple recommendations for us. Things like giving her a quiet space to work in.

We are so grateful to have found a fantastic tutor to work with her this year. She has approached our girl with a curious, respectful, and co-operative spirit. When she asked our girl what her learning goals were she said spelling, punctuation, printing and math. All the things, unbeknownst to us that would appear as the exact areas needing improvement. She has proven to me again and again, that she is so connected to her intuition. Together they have been working towards these goals, not with a program as their guide, but positivity, inquiry, and passion.

So, what's my point?

~Do what works for your learner: approach their learning journey with curiosity and respect; with value on their emotions as the ultimate guide. Negative ones to indicate something is not right and positive to say "Keep going! Life is good!"
~Don't fear the assessment. And certainly, if your child is showing signs of suffering emotionally, get it done! Find out what exactly is going on for them; and some clues as to what may help! If nothing else, a diagnosis can validate for them what's happening in their world.
~Lastly, most importantly, and most difficultly: trust your learner. Trust them to know what they need and how they need it. Because if we allow them the honor and space to be tapped into who they are, they really do know.

No Statistics Needed

I haven't written of our learning journey in a while. I am inspired to do so today though because of something I heard; an "alarming" statistic. Ready?

If a student is not reading at their grade level by the end of grade three, they have only a 25% chance of graduating. 

Are you not alarmed??!

I'm not.

I'll admit I felt a little surprised at first. Maybe even a little offended. Why you ask? Because this statistic is talking about MY children! After I digested it for a few seconds though; I realized that as unschoolers this study has nothing to do with my children or our values- it's rather arbitrary. I found myself asking a lot more questions.... Who did this study? What was their motivation? Was this stat designed to scare me, as a parent? Or to put pressure on schools and teachers? How does it apply to children with dyslexia, like my girl? And how does it apply to natural learners like us? And... does it matter?

It's funny, as a natural learning, unschooling family we trust the learning process to unfold as a part of our human nature, but occasionally we will read something or hear something about learning, or school or success that gets us thinking and talking. This statistic was one of those things.

Here's why this study doesn't scare me:

I know my kids best. I trust them to be the brilliant, learning creatures they were designed to be. Period. That means that if they learn something later than their peers, it's irrelevant. Conversely, they learn a lot of things before their peers, or even some things most people may never learn. Also irrelevant. Comparison, in my experience is fear driven, and only leads to negativity- even if one comes out ahead, negativity is often the result. Better to breathe and enjoy the ride.  Appreciate individuality. 

Fear is not a good motivation to learn anything. Joy and positivity nourishes learning! Not to mention, feels so much better- why not choose that?!

Next, this study is assuming we all believe that graduation equals success. Guess what? I don't buy it. Graduation does not necessarily equal success; it does not equal happiness. Graduation does not guarantee good communication skills, good relationships with people, good work ethic. Graduation definitely does not equal self-knowledge,(by far one of the most important things to develop, imo) or having a direction in life. It doesn't even mean having the basic skills one would equate with having graduated- reading, writing, spelling, and math. (Thankful for spell check, this high school grad's spelling is atrocious!!)

This study is designed to appeal to the group of people who value graduation as the standard goal for our youth. I am not one of those people. My goals for my learners are a little broader. My belief about success is a little different; success is knowing yourself, being confident- your strengths and weaknesses, your goals and dreams, your beliefs and values. Success is knowing how to be happy in life; how to have good relationships; how to breathe and enjoy the ride.

If my Learners graduate, it will be because they valued graduation as being an important part of their success. Certainly, it is valued by our culture as a starting point, and could serve some purposes. However, if they do not graduate, it will not be because they were "late readers", it will not be because we are poor financially (which evidently is also considered a risk factor), and it will not be because they have learning "disabilities". It will be because they have another way to measure their success; it will be because they know who they are and what they want. It will not be something that happens out of default; or fear driven by comparison to peers. As natural learners, their success will come from learning to work with their nature. Living joyously and true to themselves.

I have faith in our brilliant design. It brings to mind the words of John Holt:

"Fish swim, birds fly; man thinks and learns. Therefore, we do not need to ‘motivate’ children into learning, by wheedling, bribing, or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can into the school and the classroom; give children as much help and guidance as they need and ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest."

Just as I trust a fish to know how to swim, and a bird to fly, I trust my children to think and learn. I trust their designer to have given them gifts and abilities that will serve them well. No statistics needed. I can trust them to do the rest.

xo

Old Dan Tucker... and Other Insanities

WHAT is going on?! 

I have been hearing.... literally, Old Dan Tucker being sung for days..... Sung by my children.

I hear it being serenaded while I'm in the shower;

belted out from the back seat while I'm driving;

chanted while we're walking;

and finally dialed down to a hum when I've begged for a break from the Insanity!!

And of course next thing I know it's stuck in MY head too... and then I'm humming it. Where is this coming from?

Old Dan Tucker is just one example of The Insanity. This year something has shifted. Did I say Shifted? What I meant to say was my world has been Flipped, turned-upside-down. (yes, much like the Will Smith song. lol)

This year while planning our learning year, (as much as one can plan that), I started feeling curious about the Waldorf philosophy; which led me, quite surprisingly to browsing through curriculum. Let me say that again: CURRICULUM. For me this is darn-near Shocking. For anyone who knows me knows, I have felt pretty passionately against curriculum; and certainly against anything that looks like school-at-home. These feelings were re-enforced when Liv and I were struggling our way through Kindergarten curriculum, and later struggling through many other bouts of "teaching" and "learning" how to read. Little did I know, the source of our struggle was undiagnosed Dyslexia and Dysgraphia. All I knew, and still know, is this kind of learning was not worth it, or fun, or successful for us. And yet here I was looking through curriculum.

So why on Earth am I feeling good about this?! ....It still sounds crazy.

My outlook, as I was browsing the "curriculum", is that it could be just one more resource, among many resources, that we may or may not use; depending on where we're at with our learning.... okaaaaay.... To my surprise, I found that the Waldorf ideas of protecting the rites of childhood deeply resonated with me; and the bits of curriculum I was seeing looked so multi-sensory. I was having a very strong feeling that this could be a beautiful fit for us.

The other thing that shifted my outlook is that my daughter, wait for it...... ASKED FOR CURRICULUM!! Workbooks to be specific. 

**still shaking my head in disbelief**

Here I had brainstormed with her all the interests and goals she had for herself for the year.... I'm typing up a plan. One that deliberately looks nothing like formal learning, one that is full of games and activities.... and she says, "mom, did you put some curriculum in that? I mean, you know, some workbooks and stuff? Cause I'm thinking I'm getting older and stuff, and I think I should start getting better at math and my spelling and things." 

HUH?! WHAT NOW?

So then again, maybe I was browsing curriculum because somewhere inside me, my intuition knew that this is where we were heading; that this is what was next for us. I don't know how many articles, stories and blogs I've read with the same happenings: lots of free, active, spirited life learning and then with age and interest, reading, and math and eventually more formal learning. I just never thought it would happen to us. I really didn't.

I've picked out but, ahem, not yet ordered curriculum. I'm still looking at it as a resource, just another option to use or not. And as usual, I'm following the lead of my little learners.... and they are leading me to playing "school". I'm not even kidding a little. All of my deep-set opposition to "school-at-home" style learning is having to bow to my children telling me that, "NO MOM, This is supposed to be how it looks.... We sit here, and you are there, and you teach us, and we have to put up our hands... and.... and.... and." .....AND truth be told, they are having a ton of fun with it, and we are learning spelling. And while I do have some inner conflict about this style of learning, it's pretty impossible to argue with them about this one. Or argue with myself, as long as this "school" game remains THEIR idea!

See what I mean? Insanity. World. up. side. down.

Know what else?
For the first time in 6 years my daughter is not taking dance. We are still a part of a belly dance group, but she isn't taking dance. Given the option to explore some new interests, Liv chose to take a break from it. She's found herself a fantastic horse riding mentor, and is in love with horses! Which is helping tremendously with her learning challenges and confidence. I'm still in shock. No dance. HUH.

While browsing through the previously mentioned forbidden fruit, I stumbled upon a new book; Simplicity Parenting. Again, something inside me said, "you have to order that book." The blurb about it mentioned the theme is "Too much". As I looked around, I literally saw Too Much. Too much mess, from too much stuff, in every room of our probably Too Much house. I wondered if this is what the book was about.
We had been recovering all summer from the previous year of Too Much screens; we've been trying to create new limits and routines surrounding that. I wondered if that was the Too Much being referred to in the book. Either way Simple sounded pretty inviting.
I received my new book this week, and have been hooked. And it is what I thought. Our Too Much environment. Full of Too much stuff.  Full of Too Much screens. Toys. Clothes. Adult conversation.

Which leads me to my next insanity. Simplifying my house. AKA- pulling up the utility trailer and making repeated trips to the dump and second hand store. All of these changes have me feeling a little overwhelmed, lost, excited, confused, surprised.... very.... just Very. Is that a feeling? Again. World. Up. Side. Down.

And so, fueled by my new book; accompanied by my family singing Old Dan Tucker; and inspired by our recently discovered major addiction to watching Little House, and Longing for a simpler life.... I am taking on the Too Much mess. I might even blog about our progress, and take pictures for accountability! LOL

Alright. Enough with writing. Time. To. Simplify.

Is There Such a Thing as Organic Intervention?

Is There Such a Thing as Organic Intervention?


I was led to asking this question after researching and digesting a massive amount of suggested “interventions” related to my daughters learning disabilities.


Something feels really icky about it. I felt unrest. I felt anxious. And what was worse I couldn’t put my finger on why. These interventions imply that each day “should” be scheduled, that specific subjects and tasks be done at specific times, and in a specific way. These interventions feel un-natural, wrong, and yucky, and these suggestions sound like things that will not “work” for my girl. So for days I have been thinking things over and trying to make sense of these ideas.


How could I make peace with these interventions, and hold true to our Natural Learning lifestyle? Do I need to make peace with these “interventions“? Do I need to honor them? or do I need to pay attention to the feeling that these ideas are not sitting right with me?


Lately, I’m hearing comments like “academically, we need to work hard to get her caught up….“ Caught up to who? I dare to ask. Caught up to her peer group? Caught up to her grade level? Caught up to.... herself? For what purpose exactly? Is she in a race with her peers? With the world? Do we value a system that wants to produce cookie-cutter people? Does my daughter want to be a cookie-cutter person? Does she desire SAMENESS with everyone else? Do I want to convey the message that “Sameness” is something we value and pursue?


Same knowledge, same abilities, same goals. Certainly this sameness is NOT on my list of priorities.


I have also heard the thoughts that natural learning carries a big risk of easily getting behind. Again, behind whom? And in what? And so the fear is of what then? That one might not “catch-up”? That one might not reach a level of perceived “sameness” with the world? And that surly this would lead one to have trouble graduating, getting into a good college and making money? Is that the fear? Assuming of course, that money is all important! What if they never learn to complete tasks on time? Is that the fear? Is it time management?


Some have also expressed well-meaning concern that if our daughter had been in the regular public school system, perhaps the school would have noticed she needed help sooner; maybe they would have provided her with the help she needed earlier. Perhaps that is true. Perhaps it is not. Perhaps “Sooner” would not have been beneficial to her. In fact, I’m pretty sure the timing needed to be right for her, and that rightness can only be determined by her. And I’m pretty convinced that her and I, by learning together for the whole 10 years she’s been alive, have a very good handle on how she learns best, and what things are most challenging for her. In a school system with a 15% illiteracy rate among grade 10 students and a country with a 40% overall illiteracy rate, I have serious doubts that this institution would have done anything near what her and I have accomplished together.

I would like to venture a theory of my own….
Perhaps, "some" public school children are “behind”….
behind as I would define it, according to what I value.
Behind in the ability to communicate in an authentic, honest, respectful way,
behind in the ability to form quality relationships with people of a variety of ages;
Behind in the ability to accept, to co-operate instead of compete and compare.
Behind in recognizing and developing their our unique talents.

Maybe “some” of these children would benefit from an Organic Intervention?

The kind of intervention that allows them to sleep in, to have slow, unhurried mornings.
The kind of intervention that would
have them putting their hands and feet in the dirt to grow food;
the kind that would have them learning
what kinds of foods are good for healing and healthy living;
maybe they could learn how to prepare these foods.
The kind of intervention that involves following a curiosity,
finding a mentor and learning all about whatever interest gives them life;
the kind of intervention that would hold that passion as more valuable than Sameness.

The kind of intervention that would involve volunteer work,
and getting to know Grammas and Grampas from many families.
The kind of intervention that would allow a child to spend time in a room full of instruments,
and the freedom to play each one,
to write their own songs.

The kind of intervention that walks in the woods,
and plays along the creek; throwing rocks, spotting fish and birds.
An intervention that involves being with ones family way more days than not;
an intervention that involves chasing butterflies- both real and figurative.
The kind of intervention that encourages creativity,
and the valuing of process over outcome.
The kind of intervention that would encourage literacy through the exploration of interests; reading and research would happen for the same reasons it happens for adults,
it would arise naturally,
dare I say Organically.

I guess that answers my question; there is such a thing as Organic Intervention! For this is what we’ve been doing all along. And as far as learning disabilities go, we will not be abandoning our Natural Learning ways. It took 5 years of consciously following this path to build faith; to see it working. I did not worry that my daughter would get behind in learning to walk, or talk, or eat solid foods; I trusted whole-heartedly that she was designed to do those things, and naturally would. I have seen a motivation for learning in her that was also put there by a designer; she is perfect and beautiful and anything but learning “dis-abled” in my eyes. She is a living, breathing, growing, learning being.

She is naturally a Blue Rose; why would I want intervention to make her Red?

http://www.torontosun.com/news/canada/2009/06/04/9670181-sun.html

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/307245

http://www.conferenceboard.ca/hcp/details/education/adult-literacy-rate-high-skills.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_rose

reading without schooling

I found myself in a fantastic children's shop yesterday. Surrounded by games, puzzles, books, experiment kits, building kits, art supplies.... I found I was being drawn to the workbook section. Again. I stopped myself. and thought,

"What? Have I learned nothing?"

from the last 10 years of unschooling our daughter?

*sigh*

Old thinking patterns die hard sometimes.
You see, I was an "early" reader. I was reading before I began kindergarten, and I did relatively well in school; at least until I was in middle school and the information was coming more quickly, and the distractions were greater and the social pressures were much stronger. But that is another story.

So I carried this notion that children in my family learn to read "early". Period. I accepted this as a given, as this had been true for a lot children in my family.

When we began the homeschooling journey, the last thing I was concerned about was how my children would learn to read. (GRIN)

I was in for a big surprise when my daughter had so much difficulty learning this skill. At first, it looked like reluctance. After the reluctance was lessened, it looked like major frustration. I am someone who had no trouble learning to read, and largely, I learned in a public school setting growing up. When my daughter asked for help, I was drawn to workbooks. To flashcards. To games like scrabble, and websites like starfall. This was not working.

I had read a few articles on brain development and natural reading. The theory is, as it is in harmony with unschooling, is that children learn what they need to know, as they need to know it, and as their natural ability to learn it develops. There were many stories of children who hadn't naturally learned to read until age 10, or 12, or even older. And yet so many children are attending school and learning this skill at age 6. And many homeschooled and unschooled kids learn reading around 6 as well. Below is a bit of info on unschoolers take on learning to read, as well as the results of a poll about what age children learned to read:

http://www.lifelearningmagazine.com/0904/Alan_Thomas.htm

http://naturallearningaustralia.info/forums/showthread.php?79-What-age-did-your-child-ren-start-reading

So what is going on with this?

Google "learning to read" and you will be assaulted with a plethora of websites proclaiming that their program will teach your baby to read; that your baby is a genius and just needs this program to unleash their full potential!

My heart is thumping.
Because I am sickened by the RUSH.
Rush to wean,
rush to walk,
to potty train,
to talk,
to sleep train your little one to sleep through the night....
RUSH and push your baby into independence!
this is the message.

Nevermind that weaning will naturally happen as a baby becomes more able and interested in eating solids, nevermind that walking, talking, and using the toilet are things that naturally develop as a body and mind grows to readiness. And the same goes for sleep and independence.

Yes, being a parent is exhausting,
yes, it sucks to have my sleep disrupted by my little one.
Yes, it would be nice to have a night alone with my hubby.
But I have no doubt
that when my baby cries,
I am being called,
my baby is trying to communicate a need or feeling;
and whether that need is for nursing,
or cuddles,
or comfort because of teething,
or help and love while falling asleep;
I am confident that their need is as valid as mine,
and that they will naturally grow more capable of meeting their own needs as they grow.
So why rush? Is there any benefit to the little one?

And somehow this RUSH has been added to reading. So what we have is a society and a school system that disregards each child's individual development, needs, desires, and learning style. We have an expectation that children will learn to read in the early grades; and we justify this expectation, by saying that children need to know how to read in order to learn other things. huh.

What if that isn't true? What if, in fact, the standard ways in which children are taught to read in school are actually doing damage to some children? Such as the children who have dyslexia? as is explained in the below article:

http://www.dyslexia.com/science/different_pathways.htm
"These brain imaging studies show that teaching methods that may work well for a large majority of schoolchildren may be counterproductive when used with dyslexic children. Teaching methods based on intensive or systematic drill in phonemic awareness or phonetic decoding strategies may actually be harmful to dyslexic children. Such teaching might simply emphasize reliance on mental strategies that are as likely to diminish reading ability for dyslexic children as they are to improve it, increasing both the frustration and impairment level of dyslexic students."

Not to mention, that children tend to compare themselves to other kids?
Why is my classmate able to read, and I can't?
What's wrong with me?
And what conclusion are they left with?
That they are dumb, or different in a bad way, or that they are lazy.
Either way their self-esteem takes a big hit.

Which brings me to my big realization.
What if it can be done the other way around?
Could free and creative and natural learning and play, lead to reading?
And what would be the benefit of doing it this way?

When my daughter was in Kindergarten, we used a curriculum. (Unsuccessfully, as I explained in a previous post.) The curriculum was trying to teach reading color names, through coloring. Okay, this sounds reasonable, logical, and seems to hold the possibility of being enjoyable and incorporating a creative process..... except, it wasn't.
For example, a big picture of a tree, would be accompanied by the word GREEN, and the instruction to color the tree GREEN. LOL. A picture of an apple, with the word RED, and the assignment to color the apple RED. You get the idea. This didn't leave room at all for creative process, for problem solving, for expression; the whole thing felt dumbed-down to me, and I dare say it felt that way to the children as well.
I believe the intention was to blend art and reading together, so I give them credit for that. The intention is good.

What if we take away the tree, the GREEN, the assignment? We are left with a blank piece of paper, and a learner who may or may not be drawn to art. In this case, let's say the learner is drawn to art. Art and music, because my daughter is. Unschooling has allowed her learning to be a symbolic blank piece of paper. Let's say the learner is right-brained. Let's say the below is an accurate picture of her natural strengths.

(Taken from this site: http://www.singsurf.org/brain/rightbrain.php)

The right-brain is better at:

	Right Hemisphere	Left Hemisphere
Specialities	Copying of designs, Discrimination of shapes e.g. picking out a camouflaged object, Understanding geometric properties, Reading faces, Music, Global holistic processing, Understanding of metaphors, Expressing emotions, Reading emotions.	Language skills, Skilled movement, Analytical time sequence processing.
Shared	Sensations on both side of face, Sound perceived by both ears, Pain, Hunger, Position.
Emotions	Negative emotions (fearful mournful feelings),	Positive emotions
neurotransmitters	Higher levels of norepinephrine	Higher levels of dopamine
Grey Matter White Maatter ratio	More white-matter (longer axons) on right	more grey-matter (cell bodies) on the left.

The question is:
Does free pursuit and exploration of these strengths lead to reading?

It has for my daughter. She has dyslexia, as well as auditory processing problems and a few other learning disabilities, or should I call them learning differences? I could.

She is 10, and as of this month something has "clicked", as the natural learning articles said happens around this age. She reads. On a good day, she can read well. On a bad day, which is happening less and less, she struggles a lot to read at all. This is the nature of learning differences.

When someone is diagnosed with something like dyslexia, there is talk of "interventions", programs and people that will help her to learn in a way that works for her. Great, I am thankful that she will have access to this help, if she wants it.


Much to my amazement, I think she has naturally searched out activities, that for her, have acted as "interventions." Activities, that played on her strengths, built her confidence, and helped her to start to overcome her difficulties. Here is what I mean more specifically:


She has been able to build solid friendships and mentor-like relationships with many, many people. People who, like her, are artists; and who, like her, had a lot of difficulty in learning some skills, like reading. These people have helped her to value her artistic talents; they have helped her to preserve her confidence. They have helped her develop her gifts.

She has been playing violin, and taking group lessons to learn this instrument. Reading music has helped her de-coding skills; which transfers into de-coding letters. Her music teacher has observed her ability to play by ear; a very valuable skill for any musician. I believe that her developing an ability to tell the difference in sounds of various notes, and identify those notes, has helped her in reading too. She has had a lot of trouble telling the difference between vowel sounds, and attaching vowel sounds to vowel letters. But since playing music, she is getting much better at this. Dancing for 5 years has helped her have a great understanding of timing, which has helped for learning to play music.
Working with clay, making sculptures as well as at the pottery wheel, has helped her ability to focus, to work through obstacles, to learn from mistakes, and to develop her major and fine motor skills. These are necessary skills for learning to read and write.

So here's the thing.
My beautiful, gifted,
amazing daughter has done it backwards
to how schools teach it.
Backwards to what I as a parent expected.
And I think it has been of benefit to her.
I think in alot of ways she has come out "ahead."
Ahead in the sense that she feels good about herself.
She knows who she is
how she learns best
she has confidence that she can learn anything.

Thank goodness I was able to let go of my own expectations
and be open to her doing this in her own way and her own time.
This was my HUGE lesson to learn.
Thank goodness she was a persistent teacher!
this is still an on-going process.

But here I am.

My boy now in kindergarten; and I am able to stop myself while standing in the workbook section. LOL
I am able to hear him say
"mom, those look boring! Let's go look at the games!"
I am able to accept that as valid, and true.
I am able to turn around, and follow my boy to the games.
I know that his process is his own,
and it will look how it looks, and that is fine.
He will amaze me too. He does.
He will have gifts, and talents. He does.
He will find people he connects with.
He will grow.
Grow in the true sense of the word: Spiritually, physically, emotionally, relationally. And we will grow.
without schooling.