What is Expressive Arts Therapy Anyways?

Who am I, and why do I facilitate Expressive Arts Therapy?

I am a member of humanity. I am a woman. A mother, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin, and niece. I am a late-discovery adoptee. I am a spiritual and creative being. I am empathic and intuitive. I have come through many proverbial "fires" and like the Aspen tree, I continue to grow and thrive.
In many ways, expressive arts saved me. Writing, drawing, painting, acting, dancing, playing, sculpting and pottery provided a safe outlet to workout my "stuff".

As a counsellor, I strive to provide a sacred creative space to others. I believe our bodies are amazing at healing when we take the time to honor ourselves. Time to re-connect with our inner voice and our personal truths. As I stand as witness to the creation and release of the people I am privileged to work with, I feel amazement and gratitude. I provide empathic and gentle reflection.

This can be a powerful process for adults, to let-go of the idea of perfection. To let-go of the tendency to judge what they've produced as "good" or "bad". Participating in process-focused arts can support a person in re-connecting with their "child-self", the authentic being within.

For youths, this can be an ideal modality as it allows them to rise above the need for "words". Depending on the age of a young one, they may not have access to words or conscious awareness of what it is they are working through. Art provides a means of tuning into themselves, communicating, and working through life's challenges.

I have witnessed process focused art and narratives take clients (and myself) through many a transformative journey.

What is Expressive Arts Therapy?

 Playful          Spiritual

                                                  Creative

         Role Playing      Connection

  

            Painting

Drawing                               Sculpting

        Dreaming 

Journalling         

Non-linear

                            Looking within

Sacred space           Process focused 

Intuitive

            Trusting

Flexible              Deep

Willing

Non-directive                 Love-oriented

              Narrative

                           Experiential

Accepting

What Expressive Arts Therapy is not...

Linear

Predictable

High pressure

Quick

Behavior focused

Surface

Forced

Controlled

Directive

Fear based

Cognitive

Looking outside

Questioning

Would you like some examples of things I may do with a client, and some explanation as to why?

Art therapy works on a deep level, it taps into the roots of our being, sometimes allowing to come to the surface that which we have been hiding from, pushing away, denying, resisting, or self-condemning. Some of the activities I do with clients may not appear to have an obvious, or linear purpose, however there is a purpose behind the projects we create together. Sometimes, I am helping a client to express, release, or correct an issue. Other times, I may be trying to build awareness, or introduce a new thought pattern.

Here are some examples:

Creating feeling rocks: Clients paint rocks that represent a variety of emotions, and label the emotions as well. This is to increase a Clients awareness of the scope of emotions, to tap into what they mean to them, how feeling the emotion feels on a body-level, and to increase the vocabulary of feeling words. Additionally, these rocks provide a processing and communication tool that can be used in everyday life as well as in-session.

Mapping emotions: Clients create a full size poster or cutout of themselves and color in where they physically feel emotions in the body. For example, butterflies drawn in the stomach area for nervousness, or sparkles to represent the tingling legs of a fear response.
This supports Clients in building mind-body-spirit awareness.

Writing or co-writing a story: Often we have parts of ourselves we hide, deny, push away, or have even lost touch with. For example, perhaps we fear our anger, or the depth of our sadness. Writing can allow an outlet. What is anger put on paper? Who is anger? If anger was a character, what would he look like? What is his story? If you were to write a letter to Anger, what would it say?
My belief is that our feelings exist to communicate a message to us, what is that message? Sometimes writing can allow us to externalize the emotion in a way that feels safe, and we can "hear" it's message. We can begin to see, hear, and re-connect with lost parts of ourselves.
Rather than asking "why do I feel this way?" we can ask "what is the message my mind-body-spirit is trying to send me?"

Creating meditation: Meditation is a powerful tool in a world that bombards us with input. To meditate is to quiet our mind, it is to give it a reflective purpose, it is to observe our thought patterns and increase our personal awareness. Meditation is to create space- for calm, peace, reflection, intuition, emotion, and awareness. For anyone, this can feel like a huge and challenging concept! One of the ways I work with this is to guide Clients in creating their own mediation. An example might be writing a mediation where one imagines becoming an animal of their choosing... perhaps someone looking to connect with their inner power may choose a dragon, or someone looking to connect with peace and slow-down might choose a snail. Whatever animal speaks to them or represents the quality or state they are wishing to tap into. With repetition this can offer a thought pattern that calms and supports a person in creating more of what they want in their life and themselves.

Bubble or Scribble art: Creating art from blowing colored bubbles or scribbling are fantastic examples of process-focused art! Here a person is not concerned about the appearance of the final product. The process is messy, uncontrollable (although I've seen people try to control it...), and freeing. It is a metaphor for life.
Once finished, a client looks at the abstract images from many angles with a spirit of curiosity to pick out shapes, and see what images emerge. Intuitively naming the picture, and tapping into whatever work, healing, or awareness lay within.
This project allows an outlet for the unconscious material that we sometimes self-deny, or hide from. Also and outlet to let-go of perfection, judgement, and expectations.
The process of making the bubbles for the bubble art can also serve as a lesson in breathing.

Wheel work: Working with a lump of clay on a pottery wheel is a messy business; a balance of controlling and letting-go. Requiring physical strength and the ability to respond to feedback from the clay. Clients choose to work with the goal of playing and "masterpiece" (mess) making or with the goal of producing a piece they wish to continue working with to completion.
Clients learn to let-go, to breath, to ground, to focus, to channel their energies and frustration. They gain practice calming their mind, and adjusting the speed and power of their movements and responses. Once, "in the zone" it can be a form of meditation.

Who influences my work?

My work is heavily influenced by John Holt, John Taylor Gatto, and Brent Cameron whose trust in people's innate abilities to learn influenced their work. I have faith in people of all ages that we can heal and grow when we look inside and tap into our inner-voice as it speaks our personal truth. Deep down, we know what we need, we just need to be reminded to re-connect and trust it.

I approach my work with youths from a perspective of deep trust. I believe it is their natural inclination to learn what they live, and to imitate the behaviors that they are surrounded by and come to believe are acceptable; be that at home, school, or what they absorb from the media and surrounding culture.

I believe all people are trying their best to get what they need with varying skills at their disposal depending on their stage of development and experiences.

I strive to create a sacred, safe space where our youth can have their feelings witnessed, and needs heard and respected. As Horton (Horton Hears a Who) says: "A person's a person, no matter how small." When we honor the feelings of our youth they learn that they are loved, that their feelings are valid, and that they are "good enough" to be trusted as possessing self-knowledge. I have seen them rise to the occasion again and again. Perhaps, they can grow into adults who remain in-touch with their inner-child-self and do not need help re-connecting later on.

Some parents have wondered if this means I believe children don't need guidance? Or that parents are to bow to the needs and feelings of their children?

The short answer is: No.
But it is important to understand that I work from a paradigm that encourages a "shift" in thinking.

A shift from looking outside to looking within.

A shift from mis-trust and fear to that of deep trust and love.

A shift from focusing on behaviors and outcomes to focusing  on strengths, process and growth.

thankful for uncomfortable remembering

Tonight, I find myself pondering the past. Usually I find myself living in a state of "future", thinking ahead, planning.

the past. *sigh* who likes to go there?...

and yet, I'm remembering back to my teen years.
remembering the challenges that surrounded me, that surrounded my friends.
The challenges that my parents, and others would talk about with such concern. such worry.
and this enigma "peer pressure"...
I was so sure I was not affected by it.
sure that for me an MY friends, we were somehow exempt from it.
I remember the atmosphere
drugs and alcohol,
teen pregnancy,
of girls in abusive relationships,
of friends and classmates in violent and abusive homes,
eating disorders,
and teen suicide.
I remember losing some.
Some of my friends. Some of my dreams.
Some of my hopes, and vulnerability.
Some of my trust.
I remember the confusion and overwhelming-ness of it all.

And none of these subjects are ones we like to talk about, or like to ponder... I think, because we all have our stories. We have all known these things.


Add to this a scary statistic I recently heard, 3-45 minutes; that is the amount of time total, per week, that parents and their children spend talking; having conversation that is not related to making plans or doing tasks.
~Conversation that is about knowing each other. about connection. think about that for a minute. and then think about the things I mention above. ~how do any of us come through it?

This has me thinking about my availability to my little ones, only... they are getting bigger everyday; and am I there for them? and am I beating this statistic? I hope so.

I hope that we are getting to know each other as people.
I hope that we are developing a relationship that allows them to talk freely.
I hope I am communicating my love and affection,
my confidence in who they are,
and who they are becoming.
I hope I am advocating for them.
By advocating, I mean "standing beside."
Being a support, and a soft place to fall.

I'm feeling like I do a lot of "talking", reflecting, pondering in this blog. I hope it is at least a little bit enjoyable to read. I hope that in relating some of my thoughts, I am connecting.

I am hoping that some might be inspired to think about some of these things. To spend some time in what might be an uncomfortable state of remembering. Remembering being the child. Being the teen.
Remembering.
Recalling what you needed and wanted. What you wished for.
Because I have been thankful for this uncomfortable feeling.
Remembering... needing acceptance, support, listening ears, affection, confidence, reassurance.
The "stand beside" variety of advocacy, that I was blessed to find among some kind-hearted adults.
The kind of advocacy that says,
"I am here to listen. I am here to support you."
I hope that I will be able to do this with my own children;
and I hope they will also meet others who will do this with them.

Pondering, reflecting, thankful.

brave

Someone told me unschooling is BRAVE. They said it is brave because no one, including myself, really knows the outcome. And further, they said, if my children do have a good "outcome", people will assume I just got lucky. Fair enough, I say... but what parent ever does know the outcome?? Who really says "I'm going to do it THIS way, and I will have a good outcome, guaranteed."?

And when asked what they want for their children,
most will reply that the want their children to be HAPPY.
Happy and successful.
From there on the details vary,
so where am I on the spectrum?

I want my children to be happy, and healthy... spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy.
I want them to have lived and therefore learned
honesty, integrity, confidence, kindness, peacefulness, patience, faith, love.
I want them to have developed
communication skills that will serve them well
when they have their own families.
I hope
they will have living skills, like cooking nutritious food.
I want them to know they are valuable and know what gifts they possess.
These are the things I hold as the most valuable.

~Where are they going to learn these values and skills, if not from their parents and family?
~If not from spending time with themselves?
~Are they to learn these things from attending school? No, I do not believe these are the things learned from going to school- BUT these are the things I would define as the "basics".
And this is where our BASIC definitions vary...


There is all this talk of basics, in education... as in "the children must learn the basics, reading, writing and math." What does that even mean?!
And does basic, reading, writing, and math really require 13 years in an institution to learn? It has been shown, time and again that these basic skills can be learned in approximately 100 hours, when a learner is ready and motivated!!

~Did you know that it was recently reported that 40% of fourth graders in bc are not reading at grade level? So what is going on? By 4th grade literally, hundreds of hours would have been spent in school, supposedly learning "the basics!"

~Could the flaw reside in the definition of "grade level"?


***If nearly HALF of students are not where they "should" be, is it possible that the expectations themselves are flawed?? Is it possible that "readiness and motivation" is being overlooked?
...and even if it were taken into account how can one teacher adequately meet each learner where they are at?!

It reminds me of when I was pregnant with my son, and we were planning a home birth. There was no shortage of people calling us BRAVE, or selfish, or foolish. To me though, the mothers laboring and birthing in the hospital were BRAVE.... with the monitors, and the hospital beds, and the limits on movement, eating, bathing... their trust handed to well-trained professionals.


Back to BRAVERY.... I'm feeling like leaving "the basics", by either of these definitions, to someone else would be truly BRAVE.

I know that there are people
who think unschooling is
selfish, foolish, or even down right lazy!
I am totally okay with them thinking whatever they like....
while I am busy following my children's lead;
watching out for signs of readiness and curiosity,
finding and playing learning games,
making sure of opportunities to play with other kids,
finding mentors
supporting them
in learning dance, art, music,
or anything else they feel is important for them,
reading stories and bible stories,
exploring nature....
laughing and laughing and laughing till it hurts!


Our life of unschooling is a full and happy life!
And I guess if having all this fun with my kids,
when they could be in school is brave....
then I guess I'm BRAVE too!

this too shall pass.....

i am looking back, and i am thinking 'this too shall pass' has earned its saying-status by being pretty wise. really, as a parent, 'this too shall pass' allows one to zoom-out from a situation. how often do we get so upset by something our child has done, or won't do?? given some time though, the upset is gone, everyone has moved on....

so why do we get so upset?

i was so upset when my first child couldn't/wouldn't breastfeed; because "breast is best", and i was convinced it would just 'work' for me. all the drugs, herbs, pumping, and support in the world didn't make my breasts make milk, and they didn't cure my daughters tongue-tie either. and then she was allergic to the cow's milk formula, so she was on soy. and then when she was 3 years old i learned all kinds of terrible things about soy formula. and i was so upset. why hadn't i known??

during that same time period i also learned a lot about natural birth, and home birth while working as a doula. again i was so upset. Why hadn't i known these things??

similar things have happened throughout my new life as a parent. upset about dietary stuff, sleeping stuff, behavioral stuff..... why isn't she sleeping through the night yet? why does she have that patch of eczema? why is she whining so much? why doesn't she want to do these worksheets from the school? why doesn't she know how to read yet? UPSET! always a reason to be upset.....

now that i've zoomed-out..... she did start sleeping through the night, as soon as i started sleeping with her; her patch of eczema was from food sensitivities and 'it' along with the sensitivities cleared up; she was whining because we had a new baby, and she wanted/needed to whine, i guess she had alot to whine about; and it turns out the worksheets were boring!! and she was leading me to unschooling- which is a far better way for her and our family; and for all my fretting about her learning to read, she learned to read this year, when she was ready to.... all my upset in the world didn't make any of it different.

What if we have the ability to parent from a 'zoomed-out' place to begin with?? What if we could connect with "this too shall pass" while we are tired, sad, annoyed, frustrated?? What if i could connect with the knowledge that my child has a reason?? maybe i don't even have to know what the reason is... maybe just knowing they have a reason, and giving credit to that reason will avoid me some heartache. avoid some needless upset... what if?

it has. unschooling has transformed my life as a parent, and as a person. i no longer get upset about biological things. i have learned. my children will eat. my children will sleep. and they will learn. no controlling or upset needed!

i used to be so obsessed with what food was going into their mouths!! i've let that go, and amazing things have happened. yes, they did consider gum and ice cream to be suitable breakfast choices as most people would predict!! but they also learned how crappy their body felt when they ate that for breakfast, and they don't choose to eat that for a meal the majority of the time. in fact, my 4yo son asks me if food is nutritious now, before he eats it!
now SLEEP! who hasn't gotten upset about their children when it comes to sleep?! i read so many books on kids and sleep; tried so many things.... but guess what? kids sleep. babies sleep. they do. whether they want to or not; whether we get upset about it or not. Sleep is a biological function. it is unavoidable. so what happens when you stop getting upset about sleep?..... the kids sleep. LOL they might go to sleep later, like mine. they might sleep in later, like mine. they might start sharing a bed with each other or with you. they might start talking to you about why they didnt want to go to sleep. maybe they were feeling scared, lonely, or left out.... but what about that important "couple-time" we have all come to expect in the evening? surely we are deserving of that..... (are you sensing my sarcasm?? what if having children makes us deserving of having to be parents to our children 24/7? even when we are tired? even when we don't want to anymore?) ..... what if telling our children we want time alone tonight worked?.... what if we said to our kids "we want to spend some time together, without kids tonight; so what are you going to do upstairs while we are hanging out down here?" What if our kids figure that is a valid request because we have modeled valuing their opinions and requests? what if they happily play or watch a movie while i get to enjoy time with my hubby?....

my point is, i let go. now instead of trying to control the people around me, i control myself. if i feel UPSET about something. i try to figure out why. why am i upset? .... okay, my kids are fighting, i feel upset. why am i upset? the fighting is loud. it is upsetting the peace. and my kids shouldn't be fighting with each other.... right? is that true? .....
i fought with my sister.... we fought alot..... i learned alot from those fights.... i learned about friendship, and how to work out disagreements.... maybe my kids should fight, maybe they are fighting to learn these things too....
maybe they need support in working things out from a person who isn't upset.... maybe i can be that person...

so i dare you to zoom-out.... to give credit to "this too shall pass".... to stop fighting the reality of what is.... to start living with what IS... instead of what we think should be.... to let go!!! to start transforming our frustration into happiness.... into love... to realize that it is all about learning from each of these experiences, we learn! and our children learn.... and we all learn together!