Super-woman... who is she? in the 50's she was the housewife. beautiful. perfect. perfect mother, wife, and house. perfect cook. and her perfect babies were bottle fed. and slept in perfect little cribs-all night. and her perfect husband made the money. and life was perfectly blissful for Super-woman.
Since then, things have changed, right? for better? for worse? who is today's Super-woman?
some would say she is well-educated, independent, liberated, strong, fulfilled, determined. and dont forget, she is also a good wife, house keeper, and loving mother. the message is: go to school, as much school as you need to make a good living, so you won't have to be dependent on a man. and also, dont forget to: meet the right man, get married, make babies, breastfeed. and so Super-woman goes after the dreams....
but what if i don't want to 'do' school? ... what if i am an artist, or musician?.... then i wont be living up to the liberated dream... and the Super-woman of the world will look down on me for my falling short...
and what if i have babies before i am educated, liberated? ... am i to feel bad for bringing and raising life? Should i still go to school after having my baby? should i give my baby over to daycare so i can live the Super-dream? should i feel guilty if i do? guilty if i don't?
and what if i don't want to get married? don't want to have babies? don't want to care for a home and family? Surely, i am Super-failing. i should beat myself up for it.....
and while i'm at it, i should also look as young, healthy, and sexy as possible.
i'm scratching my head, trying to figure out how i am supposed to raise a daughter when these are among the many unhealthy messages we, as a culture feed into. this is the gold standard. this is the supposed Super-path to Super-happy. i don't know anyone who IS all the things listed above. i do know a lot of Super-people, they are REAL people. real women. they have dreams, and flaws, and wants and needs that are real, and personal. they have ups and downs. and some of them went to a lot of school, and some didn't, and they are married and single and with and without children. and they are all doing their best. and for some reason "Super" gives us a reason to beat ourselves up, and to beat each other up... with all the "shoulds" and all the "judgments."
but lets not forget, we as women also have to endure all kinds of abuses, assumptions.... even as children... and no one wants to admit that it is so common... and then, somehow we are supposed to just be okay, and we seem to expect everyone else to just be okay too.... better than okay... we must be Super. Super-woman makes it okay to tear each other down;
but the Real Super-women i know are loving and forgiving...
my hope is that Super-woman, the mythical creature we've been describing, will disappear so that Real-Women can stop failing to measure up to her mythical Super-standards, and i and my daughter and her generation can be free... or else Super-woman could Get Real! she could be re-invented! with strengths and flaws! ups and downs! she could be forgiving and loving.... and joyful! she could be an artist... or single, or married... she could be a mother who still has an identity of her own... she could have cellulite! she could have times when she needs help and support from her friends and family... she could be humble enough to ask for help and accept it...
she could be powerful, and gifted, and honest... able to do so much in her own way; but not in all ways.... just like most of us are.... and i think that needs to be okay.
so there is my ra-ra-ra for women! because i know a lot of Real-Super women! and they are gifted, and beautiful, and supportive... and i am thankful to know all of them, to have them in my life... and i am thankful that my daughter is growing up with so many fantastic REAL Super-women in her life!!... just thought you all should know...
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